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likesmatureones 55M

4/7/2019 4:50 am

Well the problem is your dealing with men..lol.
And as much as i don't like to stereotype a whole gender..alot of men think with their penises.

Why is this so?..my theory is men don't know how to be intimate with women on a level of touch..they can't touch a woman without it being sexual ( well atleast joe bidden can).

So it's hard for them to have a form of relationship with a woman without it being about sex.
Hence you get Doms that just want you to suck them off or sub males that want the Domme to fuck them or get them off ( or actively participate in their particular fetish).

I get this cause i am " different".. i could sub for a woman/a Dom without any element of sex involved.
Why? Cause i view myself as a beta and basically not what She desires.
So for me i become a better submissive when the sexual tension/ element is removed. I then can focus squarely on the bdsm side.

Yet i am sorta a diamond in the rough..most guys do use bdsm to get some form of sexual gratification or high


Daddyslilpunkin 47F
3470 posts
4/7/2019 5:01 am

To be honest I sometimes react negatively when someone sends a message asking to hook up with me, or refers to themselves as my master or dom. My personal belief is that the title of Dom or Master is something earned, once trust is established. Don't get me wrong I have had a couple one night stands, but even those I had engaged in conversation beforehand. There seems to be a presumption that if you are a sub then you must just be an easy mark for sex. A presumption that in my case as zero validity.

But I do find on the opposite side of the spectrum there are subs who like certain things, and if a Dom does not do those things they are labelled "not a real Dom." There is a spectrum, as there are in most things, of what makes a Dom. What I look for may not be what someone else looks for, but that does not make the Dom who fulfills my needs any less a Dom than the one who fulfills someone else's.

I am trying to stop judging, and perhaps these individuals who want the instant gratification are finding partners who want the same thing. Or perhaps they are just trolls who are throwing out the net desperately trying to catch absolutely anything.

You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.


Nsa2tie 68M  
640 posts
4/7/2019 5:37 am

Just for one moment I thought this was going to be about the pleasures of chocolate but no, you all had to leap directly into sex.


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
4/7/2019 6:06 am

I tend to recil at a person calling me Master or Dom, Sir or Grand Pooh Bah. When I do not know them or me of them. I have a moniker with dom in it. Name was given to me. since I was called that by the wner of the largest dungeon in Los Angeles.

But, on a more personal basis, unless someone knows me or is involved with me, I want them to call me by my first name. My birth certificate does not have sir, dom or master on it.

There is a point, when two people connect in this alternate universe, when those titles come into play. But it is not instant like oatmeal. Unless, you are role playing or at an event where the protocols call for the use of titles. Not unlike going to the South Easter US where in the general population the use of Sir is a common courtesy.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Barbra_CD2 76T
88 posts
4/7/2019 6:17 am

Instant gratification seems to have replaced the Art of Communication almost as if those seeking IG don't expect to live past tomorrow. They should realize that if you slow down you will probably live longer. I didn't say stop....I said slow down. It is so much better to be slow, and even sensual, but take it one step at a time to get to know someone. IG is the expectation of a one night stand ..... but what if, by doing that, you miss out on someone really special. The ONE that could make you happy ----- if you don't fuck it up by looking for Instant Gratification and they say NO! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.


drmgirl622 68F  
25880 posts
4/7/2019 8:07 am

I will add to everyone else's comments that the instant gratification also extends to the female gender......of course they might not be female


jenny14 75T  
90121 posts
4/7/2019 12:11 pm

NF

I think others have said it all!

Different people are looking for different things and we have to weed out those not suitable for us!

eg I am Friends with several people here who have no interest in CD's sexually! But, that does not matter! Both of us are happy with a brain connection

Many other CD's only want a quick suck or fuck! That is their choice too!


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


Aislin 39F  
8605 posts
4/7/2019 2:52 pm

I do not do the hook up thing either. Yes, I do have Alt cam masochists traveling to me but it is never hook up sex involved, no sex at all unless it's from my cane, needles or my staple gun. But even with them I follow the golden rule that I was taught, I spend time on cam with them to make sure they are stable before inviting them to my place to play.

Do I get hook up for sex emails, yes, but I ignore them.


I am aroused by my own darkness and there is no cure.



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