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Public Chat
Posted:Feb 12, 2019 2:49 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2019 4:21 pm

This is just a means for people to chat with me. Be aware that anything you post here will be public.
Private Messages
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 5:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2019 8:16 pm

This blog requires I preview and accept posts. If you want to chat with me privately, send me your FetLife user name and I'll contact you on that site. I'll delete the posts to keep them private.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
Character Traits
Posted:Jun 21, 2019 8:49 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2019 3:15 pm

I am new and very inexperienced in the BDSM community, though I have had an interest for years and have read books on the subject. Reading through profiles on this site and others as well as the books have left me a bit confused about some things.

I have a strong attraction towards dominance and humiliation, though I've never allowed myself to act on it. Oddly, it runs completely counter to my personality. While I'm not the type of person to wear my heart on my sleeve (and most people acquainted with me would errantly describe me as having or at least showing relatively little emotion), I am a sentimental, compassionate, and empathetic person. I am a natural caretaker and I reflexively look out for the people in my orbit. I tend to encourage those around me. In academic environments I typically end up tutoring. In various jobs and my current career, I often end up mentoring/training. While it isn't necessarily obvious upon first meeting me (I'm told I can be intimidating at first), it doesn't take long for most of those qualities to become noticeable. Certainly, anyone in a relationship with me will see them.

I see the terms “real Dom” vs “fake Dom” tossed around quite a bit, but am unclear on what differentiates Doms between real and fake in people's minds. I would assume that characteristics such as “compassionate” are not qualities submissive women would generally look for in a Dom. However, in books and elsewhere, they often describe Doms as being “givers,” which seems odd to me. In any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, my natural tendency is to make sure that my partner is getting what she is looking for out of it, but in most of the profiles I read I am left with the impression that wouldn't be a quality of a supposed “real Dom.”

I do have other qualities that would be more in line with what I assume most would think of when they think of a Dom: I don't shy away from responsibility (if I see it, I own it). I have a tendency to take charge, etc. Those are beside the point.

So I am mostly wondering what it is that submissive women are looking for in a Dom, and more to the point: are the qualities I've listed ones that would generally be considered to be positive, negative, or irrelevant in a Dom (and, yes, I realize that everyone is different. I'm just curious about what is typical). My assumption is that I would be wasting my time trying to find a D/s relationship, and time is a very precious commodity for me.

Any thoughts?
So. Many. Scammers.
Posted:Mar 22, 2019 5:39 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2019 3:15 pm

Seriously, not convinced that any of my searches have turned up a single, genuine .

Is there a website there that is functional that isn't completely flooded by scam artists?

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