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MsSwanger 30F  
7215 posts
11/18/2018 8:20 am
Would you move?

How long is long enough?

I never thought I'd find myself intetested in being across the border.

A monthly trip planned every month for as long as one of us can.

We are burning through our days off and yet its not enough.

Our next visit three weeks long .

We have discussed one of us crossing border for good.

How long is long enough? I have a decent job, I can take a year.leave if all fails i come back and start fresh.

In the game of love I believe I'm willing to take the risk.

Journey into my soul.

anteater14 56M  
2075 posts
12/6/2018 8:27 am

In answer to the question "Would I move?", the answer was yes I did although I expect for different reasons to you.

In my case, an elderly relative needed us closer to her for emergency purposes and although moving was a life-changing decision, it was the one that my heart told me needed to be done, and there are no regrets for doing it ....... in fact, life is so much better now.

It is what your heart tells you to do that matters - just make sure it's your heart talking.

D xxx

Carpe Diem - the past is history, and the future is bleak.

MsSwanger replies on 12/9/2018 9:32 am:
Im unhappy being away D
I just wanna start and end my days with Him.

the_stormdancer 111F  
5332 posts
11/28/2018 3:11 am

Go, go and go. Don't stop, don't pass Go, don't collect $200. We aren't given many chances in this world like this and if you won't do it for love then what's the point of any of it.

Those who are given the gift of love and shrug it off for the tethers of safety are fools.

I wish you EVERY bit of love and happiness. You deserve it. *massive hugs*

"You can't exist in this world without leaving a piece of yourself behind."

MsSwanger replies on 11/29/2018 4:49 pm:
Awwwww thank you.

I totally am going. I've known for a few months where it was going and if not for the things that bind me here. I'd already be gone.

maletramp 59M
1700 posts
11/22/2018 9:00 pm

Geeze, if you're still together by June, You'll be common law.. But, in all sincerity .. That's fabulous ..

MsSwanger replies on 11/23/2018 12:05 pm:
Common law doesn't exist in Virginia.

Ah You. I love your comments ya know i truly appreciate them.

tahimikbayani 47M
6054 posts
11/20/2018 7:35 pm

I am the last one to give advice on such a question, but remember, no risk no reward. For me, I am still calculating all the risks.

MsSwanger replies on 11/21/2018 4:24 am:
And for me I'm willing to risk it all for love.

calif08 57F  
835 posts
11/20/2018 3:28 pm

Why can't I edit..

You both feed each other
what you need..

Some may say,
I 'm a dreamer,
but I guess they always will

John Lennon

MsSwanger replies on 11/20/2018 3:36 pm:
I am

You never know if you dont take a chance

calif08 57F  
835 posts
11/20/2018 3:23 pm

You should go for it.
You have a plan in case.
I say if you have a plan
and can take the risk,
you probably will succeed
and get what you need.
I am hopeful there is
someone out there,
someone who feeds
us what we need and
we feed thing..
Sounds like both
of you have found
each other.

MsSwanger replies on 11/20/2018 3:36 pm:
Loving the John Lennom

aHedonist 46M  
6590 posts
11/20/2018 2:22 pm

Yanno.... nothing ventured nothing gained and all that.

While I understand why some people would not risk this type of opportunity I think that personally if you got a chance you take it. Go for it.

MsSwanger replies on 11/20/2018 3:01 pm:

I plan on it. Nothing to lose.

pandia__ 45F  
2879 posts
11/19/2018 3:33 pm

The fact that this is a possibility makes me so happy for the both of you. Follow your heart.

MsSwanger replies on 11/20/2018 12:45 pm:
It's in West Virginia currently lol.

It's happening in June!

Have to wait for school sessions to close.

keithandrew1967 51M  
200 posts
11/19/2018 10:43 am

your young do it now if ur gonna move! don't wait til u grow older !! good luck hope whatever path u choose it's a smooth one!

MsSwanger replies on 11/19/2018 1:42 pm:
You and me.

It'll be a ride. One I'm willing and happy to go on.

Dreamcatcher__ 82M
5148 posts
11/19/2018 8:43 am

After a lifetime of trying, I have discovered that I can accurately predict anything but the future.

MsSwanger replies on 11/19/2018 1:42 pm:
Amen! No one can.
Life's short.

I am going to go for it.

drmgirl622 63F  
8544 posts
11/18/2018 2:17 pm

It's so hard when it comes to affairs of the heart. I know I've made that leap of faith twice and i don't regret any of it. Sure there were ups and downs but isn't that what life is all about......

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 5:42 pm:
Lifes about the experiences.

All I know is everyday I fall in love with that man. I trust Him whole heartedly and We have found something amazing that I cherish. With strong communication and love we have...I think it could be a lifetime of happiness

jenny14 69T  
68239 posts
11/18/2018 12:50 pm


Unfortunately, nobody can tell you !

You can only follow your instinct....

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw


MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 5:40 pm:
My instinct says go to Virginia!

sub_nouveau 49F  
9338 posts
11/18/2018 11:48 am

When I first met my hubby, I had a casual thing going with a Dom - I told them both about the other, so they knew upfront I wasn't monogamous. About a month down the track, I realised I wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with the man who's now my hubby. We saw each other every day for approx 5 mths (even just 30 mins in the morning), and then I moved in with him. We've had our ups & downs (some pretty big ones too) but it's never been about money (which is usually the downfall of most relationships). We agreed upfront to keep our finances separate (have never had joint bank accounts) - whoever has the money available when it's needed, spends it. We don't keep track of such things, but we know we're always about even (eg we wanted to buy a property, and he had the deposit available to get the loan we needed - so he paid the down payment [which was substantial] and I'm paying off the loan - so in the end, we've both contributed equally). The most important thing is we're so much alike in our cultures, ideologies, and dreams, and we are both true to our word, so we trust in each other and are committed to our relationship.

Our families thought we were crazy, and were sure we wouldn't last, but it's almost 20 years since we met and we're still in love and committed to one another. Even having to live apart now, for several years, hasn't diminished our love for one another.

When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.... And only you know what's right for you

Let's talk. It's how we learn about yesterday and comprehend today.

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:07 pm:
I love this.

I actually love most that Our stories relate so well as the things you've mentioned is very similar.

maletramp 59M
1700 posts
11/18/2018 11:18 am

Patience, little one.. All good things come to those who .... (But then, why would you take advice from ... Do as I say, not as I do.. )

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:08 pm:
Ah impatience big one hehe. Honestly qe have discussed it looked at the pros and cins and decided thay by June we will take the leap.

tsarah 59F  
12573 posts
11/18/2018 9:54 am

You're very lucky if you have that type job situation. I'd suggest keeping several months worth of start over income back and in a safe, accessible-only-to-you account and untouched. Even if he's wonderful, you never know how people may change if it goes badly and is ending. Good luck, whatever you decide!

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly."

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:11 pm:
That was one of the things I brought up and He is fine with.

We have agreed on all things financial and agreed I needed this before I made a move. Keep in mind I am a Momma (single parent) as is He (kids are few months a part yay)
And no sudden rush is being made.

olderdaddyforyou 63M  
216 posts
11/18/2018 9:41 am

Be sure the reason is love and not lust

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:16 pm:
It's most certainly love. I am lucky to have met Him here. Chat for months. Meet. Remeet and everything be as is.

I was well in love with this man before lusr came into it. Thank you though it is aound advice.

Jag_60 60M  
796 posts
11/18/2018 9:35 am

The emotional investment you put in a relationship will only be rewarded if you take risk. Apprhension and overthinking situations have resulted in a myriad of potentially successful relationships from being realized. You answered your own questions over the last few weeks with your sincere desires to be with him and now state you can take a year leave and if things dont work out can return and have financial security. Put your belongings in storage in case you need to return. My only question is what kind of excellent job do you have that allows a year off thats outstanding.

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:13 pm:
I have the years behind me to put in for this. Luckily!
Finacially Ive only ever depended on myself and will NOT be putting myself in position where that changes.

Jobs are replaceable he is not. Huge leap of faith but not rushing to do it right now thinking this summer.

DancingDom 69M  
11241 posts
11/18/2018 8:44 am

Well, despite the songs and expressions calling Love a game it is not. Taking a risk, may well be worth it. Evaluate who has the most to loose if they uproot. Who can bounce back the easiest. That seems negative, but it really isn't. It is practical. If you can't decide, flip a coin.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:14 pm:
We have discussed this. He has the most to lose. I have the flexibility to move without much fall out.

If all went sour I have a good background here in Newfoundland.
Not selling everything. Putting in storage.

MsSwanger replies on 11/18/2018 12:15 pm:
I can bounce back the easiest.if it went sour.

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