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What’s in Your Cup?
Posted:Dec 12, 2018 5:00 am
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2018 5:02 am
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? “Well because someone bumped into me, of course!” Wrong answer. You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out. Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it until you get rattled. So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?” When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility? Or anger, bitterness, harsh words, and reactions? You choose! Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation for ourselves; and kindness, gentleness, and love for others.”

— What’s in Your Cup?, by Thich Nhat Hanh

1 comment
The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility
Posted:Dec 11, 2018 3:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2018 11:20 pm
Let’s face it, almost every one of us who has been attracted to D/s or BDSM came to it first because of exposure to some erotic imagery and the fantasy it conjured for us. Our minds wrote a story of what the images meant to us and how we fit into them. For me, that first exposure came at a pretty young age and sparked something within that has never left me across the decades. Whether one identifies with submissiveness or Dominance, each of us views these images through our respective lenses and they evoke emotions and physical responses within us. For some it is simply sexual excitement while for others it is something far deeper and more visceral; a yearning, a longing, a need. Still, others find an introduction to BDSM completely disgusting and degrading or simply not to their liking. And you know what? That’s okay.

But for those of us who feel some lifelong yearning for Dominance or submission, the deep-seated emotional and psychological gratification produced by D/s affects us at a core level. It is not an idle sexual curiosity or titillation brought about by popular culture or social media. It is something we have harbored all of our lives and require in some form of human interaction in order to feel whole and fulfilled.

It has never been particularly easy to find like-minded people who view D/s through the lens of the yearning Dominant or submissive. Even those who were similarly inclined did not have a forum for acknowledging, let alone exploring, their desires in a safe and anonymous environment. That is until the advent of the Internet and the two-decade evolution from newsgroups to forums to chat rooms to social media. Finding like-minded people is easier than ever. They seem to be everywhere. The difficulty now is not one of scarcity but of trying to sort the wheat from the chaff as it were; identifying the people with a genuine need to experience D/s in their lives from those who just want a little kink. Both are okay, but they have very different needs and desires that are not necessarily complementary to one another.

There is no question that the convergence of social media and the explosion of popular curiosity about BDSM and D/s relationships, inculcated in part by the “50 Shades” phenomenon, has brought people out of the woodwork to satisfy their curiosity or simply get a little kinky titillation. Tumblr has certainly done that in spades as have other forums. It is also fair to say that it has given voice to those who have a strong need to incorporate D/s into their ongoing daily lives. For better or for worse, we are all here together.

It is fair to say that the vast majority of people exploring and satisfying their curiosity about BDSM are out to get a few kicks and have no particular desire to adopt D/s as a way of life. And there is nothing wrong with that provided it is purely a process of consumption. By that, I mean observing from afar. Looking at imagery and reading texts as a form of pornography or even education is just fine and completely innocuous in my book. But social media allows us to not only observe but to also interact with other people; people with real lives, real feelings, and emotions. The moment we reach past the masturbatory images on the screen to communicate with someone else, we are impacting them and their lives. How we do that, and how responsible we are in that interaction, is an entirely personal decision, but the results go far beyond getting one’s own rocks off. This is not a “virtual girlfriend” video game, though the impersonal and remote nature of the communication can make it feel that way. Real people with families, friends, co-workers, and feelings are on the other end.

So when we reach out and begin to “play” Dom or sub in the virtual space we attach an emotional leash between us as real in the mind as any leather or chain leash in the physical world. Attachments are developed and deep connections made. D/s has a way of breeding these more quickly and deeply than many other forms of relationship in my experience. We allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to one another, and in so doing we connect in ways we might never have before. But we are also easy prey for the ill-intended, inconsiderate, or just plain narcissistic. For example, when a person who really just wants to play a little at being a “Dom,” get a few kicks and maybe get laid, reaches into the heart and mind of a submissive who has a need for Dominance in a relationship and seeks a deep emotional connection, trouble is fast brewing. The submissive may feel used and in fact, perhaps they have been. It is crucial that we understand what we want in the interaction, that we are honest about our desires and intentions, and that we do not lead people who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable and exposed into something they need but that we have no intention of fulfilling. In effect, I am saying, be honest and play nice. Kindergarten rules.

When a Dom accepts the devotion of a submissive they also accept an enormous responsibility for the emotional and physical wellbeing of that person. A submissive may wear a leash and allow herself to be guided by a Dominant, but in grasping that leash a Dominant accepts full responsibility for it and all that is attached to it; physical and emotional. When a submissive hands herself over to a Dominant it is an awesome and even fearsome responsibility, so much so that it sometimes keeps me awake at night. My Muse has given me everything she is and I owe it to her to give her everything I am in return. The weight of bearing the leash is the same whether Dominant or submissive. A leash has two equal and opposite ends.

So while we may “play” at Dominance and submission in a scene replete with BDSM and kinky sex, there is often far more to it than that. There is often a profound emotional need deep within the Dominant and/or submissive that is being fulfilled by the bond between the two. Sometimes it is satisfying needs, mending wounds, or providing things that were missing in our lives as far back as childhood. This stuff can run very, very deep and can cut badly when abused, mistreated, or neglected.

As Dominants AND submissives, we have a responsibility to be aware of our partners’ needs and just how deeply our interaction is not only connecting, but also potentially completing and healing one another. In extreme instances, withdrawal of that connection can carry with it all of the intensity of feeling and emotion of a death in the family or even of oneself. When we engage in D/s and allow ourselves to connect this deeply we are treading on some very tender spots in the hearts and minds of both Dominant and submissive. Some of those tender spots may, in fact, be open wounds. That vulnerability and emotional access is indeed the gift of Dominance and submission, but nurturing it and caring for it is also the awesome responsibility we accept in return.

The leash has two ends. What we do with them define us as Dominant and submissive.

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
Decisions , Decisions.....
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 6:55 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 4:57 pm

Just A Little Monday Humor ... Hope You're All Enjoying this Crazy Holidaze Season.
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 5:29 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2018 8:28 am
Being without him is like a life without either purpose or joy. Not much of a life. You think too much. You don’t think enough. You think about the wrong things.

I think about his hand tangled in my hair and his wet tongue fucking my mouth. The beauty of those few moments was the cessation of thought. Not just how hot it was. Not just the spark of chemistry and the wet pussy and the taste of his cum, but that for a moment, he was the only damn thing that existed. It didn’t matter that we might get caught. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t mine. Or I, his. It didn’t matter that in minutes he would be gone and may never be back.

Bliss. That lack of thought. I had his name and his cock on my lips and his fingers deep in my cunt and … nothing. Awareness, but no thought.

All I’ve done since is think. Remember and recall and relive and long. My god how I long. I never knew to yearn until I had a taste, a touch, to show what is missing. There’s a him-sized void somewhere in the center of these thoughts. It’s beautiful and it sucks. I can feel joy and utter hopelessness side by side, and I get that word unrequited now. I live it, every day.

And I think about it.

~ erosechoed
Sunday Vinyl *Perfect Album*
Posted:Dec 9, 2018 6:53 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 6:57 am

1. Ophelia
2. Life Is Sweet
3. Kind And Generous
4. Frozen Charlotte
5. My Skin
6. Break Your Heart
7. King Of May
8. Thick As Thieves
9. Effigy
10. The Living
11. When They Ring The Golden Bells

Life Is Sweet
From the album Ophelia

It’s a pity, it’s a crying shame, who pulled you down again? How painful it must be to bruise so easily inside. It’s a pity, it’s a downright crime but it happens all the time. You want to stay little daddy’s girl, want to hide from the vicious world outside. But don’t cry, you know the tears’ll do no good so dry your eyes. Your daddy, he’s the iron man, a battleship wrecked on dry land. Your mama, she’s a bitter bride, she’ll never be satisfied and you know that’s not right.

But don’t cry, you know the tears’ll do no good so dry your eyes. They told you life is hard, it’s misery from the start; it’s dull, slow and painful. I tell you life is sweet, in spite of the misery there’s so much more, be grateful. Who do you believe? Who will you listen to, who will it be? It’s high time that you decide in your own mind.

I’ve tried to comfort you, tried to tell you to be patient; they are blind, they can’t see. Fortune’s gonna come one day. They’re all gonna fade away, your daddy the war machine and your mama the long and suffering prisoner of what she can not see.

They told you life is hard, it’s misery from the start; it’s dull and slow and painful but I tell you life is sweet, in spite of the misery there’s so much more, be grateful. Who do you believe? Who will you listen to, who will it be? Because it’s high time you decide, it’s time you make up your own sweet little mind.

They told you life is long, be thankful when it’s done, don’t ask for more, you should be grateful. But I tell you life is short, be thankful because before you know it will be over. Life is sweet and life is also very short. Your life is sweet.

*I Love this album so much. It is from Natalie Merchant's solo career and is haunting at points. It will bring you to tears if you give it a chance.
Anytime, Anywhere.
Posted:Dec 9, 2018 2:19 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 6:06 am
Beautifully spent. I told you. Anytime, anywhere. You had your doubts. Until today. When I grabbed your wrist and drug you into the stairwell, you had an inkling. When I placed my hand around your neck, shoved you against the wall, and whispered in your ear that I’m going to take you, right here, and right now, you started to get a bit more of the picture. But it was when I shoved your legs apart with my knee and placed my hand beneath your skirt putting my finger between the lips of your dripping cunt, right through the fabric, pressing against your clit, that you finally believed me. I slipped my finger under the seam where the front meets the pretty little t-back and in one quick motion, I ripped them right in two exposing your dripping slit. I grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head aside. As I sunk my teeth into the flesh where your neck meets your shoulder, I plunged two fingers inside that perfect pussy. I start finger fucking you. Sliding my fingers in and out as my palm glides up and down your clit. I suck and bite your neck as my hand never slows. It fucks you just perfectly. Your whimpers grow to moans and I clasp my hand over your mouth to stifle them, lest someone hear. Your moans build as you buck involuntarily against my hand. As you are just about to release, I stop and remove my hand. “Please, Sir! Make me cu…!”, your begging cut short by my drenched fingers being shoved in your mouth. “Taste. Taste yourself, Kitten. Taste what I’ve done to you.” I growl in your ear before I force you around, bending you over, my grip on your hair never letting up. My free hand lifts your skirt and then frees my raging cock from its confines. I place the tip of my cock at your pouting lips. In one motion, I thrust myself deep into you, pressing my balls against your hard little clit, while at the same time I pull back with your hair, forcing you to impale yourself on my cock. I don’t let up. I pull back continuously as my cock thrusts repeatedly into your molten cunt. The wetness is audible as my balls hammer against your little clit. You start to cum almost immediately, your moan reaching a crescendo, forcing my hand over your mouth yet again. I never slow as the waves of your orgasm swallow you. Your legs shake. Your body trembles as I continue to fuck you. As your pleasure finally begins to ebb, I remove myself from you and force you to your knees. You look up at me with a distant, yet willing stare as my fingers are still entwined in your hair. Your lips part immediately as the tip of my cum soaked cock touches them. I thrust forcefully against the back of your throat, pressing my balls hard against your chin. I start fucking you again. Just like I did your pretty little-swollen cunt. Relentlessly. It takes me no time until I’m shooting thick ropes of cum down your throat. I tense as the force of my orgasm hits me. I have to steady myself against the wall as I cum hard. As spent as you are, you never lose a single drop. I pull myself from you as you slump to the floor. I stuff my still hard cock back inside my trousers and zip up before kneeling beside you. I place my fingers under your chin, lifting it and forcing you to meet my gaze with your still glassed over eyes, tears still streaming down your cheeks. I place my lips on yours and part them, sliding my tongue past yours and tasting our combined flavors. Slowly, I break the kiss and meet your gaze again, “I told you, Kitten. Anytime, anywhere, I will take what belongs to me.” Your response was a perfectly clear, “Yes, Sir.” I smiled. “Good girl. Now let’s get you cleaned up and back to work.” I whispered as I help you, legs still shaking, to your feet….♠

~a gentleman’s musing~

Posted:Dec 7, 2018 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2018 2:56 pm
If you want to protect her, strive every day for the better. Be efficient, be calm. Learn to listen, learn to see. She deserves the best, so be the best. Be strong, be fast, be charming, and attentive. Talk refined, work hard, train harder. Empower yourself to empower her. Be her dream, her force, her reigning passion. Be her voice, her call. Be structured, precise, patient, and stern if necessary, Be on time, reliable, and steady. Stay in shape, fight with her, fight for her, and never give up. Be the rock, the shoulder, the unwavering faith, and forceful devotion and grant her a life full of devotion, bliss, and unbending happiness as your woman, your pride, your life-defining accomplishment.

Posted:Dec 7, 2018 2:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 11:38 am
It may bring an overwhelmingly thick loneliness. An indescribable isolation. But do it anyway. You’ll likely have waves of creeping doubt, and lose faith in yourself. Do it anyway. Shrug it off, dig in. Friends won’t get it, family might ostracize you, and those closest to you might desperately try to convince you otherwise. Don’t listen or feel you need to explain it either. See it as a brutal test of your fortitude, of how honestly you really want to do it. Need it. And, do it, despite rejection, despite opinions, despite a legion of naysayers. Do it. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. Listen to your gut and carve the path you know is meant only for you, not one put in front of you by any number of others. Live your life. Listen to your truths. There is no other feeling like it.”

Posted:Dec 5, 2018 2:13 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2018 3:50 pm
She started to respond to him, the muffled words coming out of her gagged mouth. She stopped as she could see him smile, amused at her struggles. Her face flushed as she felt the saliva leak out of her mouth, trailing down her lower lip onto her chin, splashing harmlessly on her breasts.

Taking his fingers, he wiped up the mess and rubbed her lips with it, before leaning in and giving her a sweet, soft kiss.

“Such a messy girl. It’s ok, baby. I like messy girls. Tell me what you were saying.” Her eyes widened as the warmth filled her cheeks even more. She felt her body tremble slightly as she began to speak again, the heat between her legs even greater than the burn on her face.

~art of domination
Best Friends With Benefits
Posted:Dec 5, 2018 9:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 6:25 am
"I write to you like a lover
but we have never been in love.
three am and I'm sending snapshots
of my heart because you are the only one
who isn’t afraid to look at them.
sometimes we kiss for no reason.
sometimes I go crawling into your bed
because I need a space to belong to
and your hands are steadier
than mine have ever been.
sometimes you get lost
and you wind up on my doorstep,
but it’s okay–
you’re always welcome here.
I tell you all the secrets I’ve been
keeping from myself while you
peel apart at the edges and admit
to all the soft things you pretend
you don’t know how to feel.
we understand each other, here.
my sheets know all our demons.
we don’t touch like that in the daytime,
but at night you are all hands
and I am all teeth
and we are a double-hinged door
slammed open by the wind.
we work that way.
it’s easy as breathing:
two kindred souls wrapped up together,
settled in for the night,
sharing the same skin for a little while."

— Best Friends With Benefits

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