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It's All Relevant

Posted:Jan 16, 2019 9:59 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2019 11:37 am
“When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…..enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking everything I dish out to her… that moment she is never more beautiful to me.”

~ The Marquis de Sade
That Moment.
Posted:Jan 16, 2019 4:45 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2019 1:28 pm
When a woman strips herself bare of not only the clothes that cover her body but also the shackles of a lifetime of conditioning and insecurities, finds the strength to kneel before another and ask to be taken, it is truly the most powerful moment in a BDSM relationship. Oh, there are many, many other powerful moments and experiences, and I routinely feel a sense of awe and gratitude as she continues to find new ways to display her submission and desire to learn and grow. But none for me can compare to the power, majesty, humility, and grace that I feel when the right woman holds out her trembling hand and heart and asks to be taken.

~ chris-pr-ds
Posted:Jan 15, 2019 12:13 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2019 8:01 am
Sadness is best when it lands on you with a tremendous thud. Brings you to your knees and drains you of all the tears you didn’t even know were locked up inside you. Little pangs of sadness are just annoying like a paper cut or a mosquito bite. To learn and find growth, sadness needs to be heavy.

— daily-esprit-descalier
Posted:Jan 14, 2019 7:23 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2019 12:32 pm
Never enough; always wanting, deeply craving, incapable of being satisfied.

When we are together we cannot stop. We cannot keep our hands to ourselves. We cannot keep our bodies separated. We cannot force our thoughts away from one another. A desperate aching need for more.

Does this mean we are unfulfilled? Not at all. We are simply hedonists in our world of one another. A desperate paradox; continually fulfilled yet forever craving. Addicts of our own desire. More…always more…of you.


Caption © For The Love of a Sub, 2012
Dominant Traits – A submissive’s Checklist
Posted:Jan 14, 2019 8:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2019 1:22 am
What do you look for in a Dom? Do you really know what Dominance is? Have you ever seriously asked yourself these questions and have you ever actually sat down and made a list of the things you require from a Dom in order to make the most of your submission? My guess is that you have not or if you have it was a cursory look at best. Many submissives simply allow themselves to be swept along, for better or worse, in the currents of a Dom’s river and do not give much thought to what it is they truly need to flourish in their submissiveness. The answers, while different for everyone, may surprise you and likely have little or nothing to do with the images and stories seen on the Net.

Here is a short list of traits I have heard stated by various submissives that have given this considerable thought. It is by no means all-encompassing, and each person requires something different. I am sure there are many others but this might provide food for thought as you set about contemplating this for yourself.

Who Does a submissive Need?

** Someone who is in control of his or her own life and whose self-control, self-discipline and personal success serve as an example to live by

** Someone who displays honesty and integrity in other aspects of their life

** Someone who, despite their dominant tendencies, displays kindness, caring, and compassion for others who have nothing to offer them

** Someone who is emotional, physically and intellectually stronger yet remains open, accessible and respectful

** Someone who has sufficient life experience, knowledge, and wisdom to be a mentor and teacher

** Someone who exerts their will over, and for the benefit and well being of, a submissive and the well being of the relationship

** Someone who demands nothing less than the best effort in all a submissive does

** Someone who uses a submissive as a tool and canvas to quench their darkest desires

** Someone who creates an atmosphere of safety and security

** Someone who communicates and maintains well-defined boundaries regarding accepted behavior

** Someone who has the courage, to be honest even when they know the reaction will be negative

** Someone who dedicates himself or herself to studying the craft of BDSM and makes the D/s relationship a priority in their life

** Someone who enjoys leadership and thrives on being the one in control

** Someone who will make their submissive feel valued, treasured, and needed

** Someone who provides and promotes discipline

** Someone who readily communicates precisely what needs doing in order to be the best for them and satisfy all of their needs, sexually and otherwise

** Someone who relishes pushing sensual and sexual boundaries taking their submissive to new levels and greater heights of sensation and experience

** Someone who is inquisitive enough to want to understand the needs and boundaries of a submissive

** Someone who will respect boundaries and limits without question or concern for personal safety

** Someone whose interests, boundaries, and limits is largely compatible with their submissive

** Someone who wants to be in a D/s relationship every bit as much as the submissive

I encourage you to ponder these points, come up with your own list of needs and compare them to your Dom or any prospective Dom you may be contemplating serving. Do they have what it takes to be a good Dom for you? Will your needs be met by this person? Are they the one who will be best able to draw out and make the most of your submission?

Take the time and make the effort to assess your needs and find someone who can best meet them and your D/s journey will be far more rewarding than it might otherwise be.

~ For The Love of a Sub

Caption © For The Love of a Sub, 2012
Know your worth~
Posted:Jan 14, 2019 2:38 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2019 2:47 pm

In this day and age, is 24/7 truly possible? Are BDSM dynamics moments in time?
Posted:Jan 10, 2019 7:35 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2019 3:06 am
Or is 24/7 A State Of Mind?

I love this topic, as it has so many layers and angles!

First, in this day and age, is 24/7 truly possible? I think before that can be answered one has to define what is meant by 24/7. Interestingly, in contemporary society, it seems to have different meanings to different people, which is possibly why there has been a movement towards using other phraseology instead. For many, there are but two types of dynamics - bedroom only, or 24/7. Bedroom only, of course, indicates a dynamic in which the dominance and submission is limited to kinky playtime, whereas 24/7 would, by process of elimination, include everything else.

To the extent 24/7 is intended to refer to those face-to-face dynamics that occur outside the bedroom, and encompass a live-in, M/s or D/s full-service type of arrangement, I would argue that while they are possible, they are much less common than they might have been in generations past. A contemporary lifestyle, combined with the aberrant mutation of feminism into its current form have created an environment unwelcoming to this style dynamic.

If, instead 24/7 is used to refer to a dynamic that extends beyond the bedroom, but consumes the waking hours of both participants, again, is it common or uncommon? Absent the extraordinarily rare occasion where parties might be of such means that they have no need to work, a portion, if not a significant portion, of one’s day is consumed by career. Unless the participants work together (and/or in a kink environment), how do those hours calculate into the 24?

For that matter, what of those relationships that have limited time together, and yet for whom they never drop protocol or rules,and the participants are always “on”? Are they considered 24/7? Or not, simply because they are not constantly together?

Significant challenges, unanswerable questions, all a result of terminology, Master. (I’ll be back to that point later)!

So momentarily forgetting the 24/7 question, let’s look at the next one… is a BDSM dynamic a moment in time? I had to catch myself… I kept trying to write “merely a moment in time”. In my opinion, a dynamic is no more a moment in time than our lives are merely a collection of moments in time.

Now there are multiple ways you might have meant your question - two in particular that jump out to me: (1) an entire dynamic is to be seen as a single moment in time, or (2) a dynamic is a collection of moments of time… a sum of the parts. I tend toward the latter interpretation. But I presume that is, to a degree, a reflection of the way I approach this life. I’m well-aware that there are many out there (we encountered many in the task group) who made it a habit of experiencing a plethora of different Doms or subs, in which case, I expect a dynamic would be a single moment in time for those people. But for me, and for most of the people I’ve met since, the bond formed through a dynamic, the intensity of the connection, the longevity (intended, if not achieved) would clearly point to the latter definition.

And so is a dynamic (merely) a moment in time (a single or collection of individual moments)? Or alternatively, is it more… the sum of those parts? Something bigger, more significant? I would argue it is more than merely a collection of individual, disconnected moments - the evolution of the dynamic and the participants being the evidence of that fact. Were it merely a compilation of disjointed moments in time, lacking in significance, dynamics would not result in consistent or continued growth, instead growth would be dependent on each individual’s growth history and tendencies outside a dynamic.

So, alternatively, is 24/7 a state of mind? This is where it gets fun! Several months ago, @asubmissiveview and @instructor144 both from @the-faculty , had an interesting conversation that resulted in a grassroots movement on Tumblr to abandon the “24/7” locution, instead replacing it with something more encompassing of the variety of styles of non-bedroom dynamic.

I would argue first, that “24/7” is more a state of mind than a state of the clock or calendar. Even for someone living out their dynamic, face-to- face, even someone like greyhound (she’s the most extreme I can think of), is it truly 24/7 by the clock? Is every minute, every second, every day truly dedicated by both greyhound and her owner wholly to the dynamic? In that singular case, the answer is probably the closest to “yes” that one can get, while in most cases, I would argue that people are busy - sleeping, working, with family. Don’t misunderstand me, that’s not to say that those who are not living that style aren’t “24/7” - but rather that the assessment shouldn’t necessarily be based on time. Nor, I would argue, should it be a function of location. No. 24/7 is clearly a function of something more, a state of being. When the participants in a dynamic are engaged, upholding their rules and protocol, maintaining the underpinnings of the power exchange even amidst the chaos that normal vanilla life can create, their mindset can be likened to someone living a 24/7 by the clock. And in that vein, if it’s a function of mindset or state of being, then location would have no bearing on whether someone is “24/7”.

This brings me back to linguistics. In @instructor144’s post, he proposes a shift from “24/7” to “full spectrum”, citing two specific advantages to specifying one’s D/s dynamic in this manner:

“1. It makes explicit that the relationship encompasses the full spectrum of the things we mean when we speak of “D/s”: the ongoing daily contact, the rules and responsibilities, the tasks, protocols, mantras, the ongoing power exchange, and the ongoing commitment by both partners to support the other in becoming the best “them” they can be. It shifts the focus away from the kinky fuckery and onto all those other aspects of D/s.

“2. But – and this is every bit as important as #1 – it does not allude to any particular “shape” to the relationship, the way many of the implications of “24/7″ do. Does it account for 24/7 IRL domestic relationships? Yes. But it also accounts for LDRs and mixed-mode LDR/IRL relationships. It accounts for relationships that are understood by both partners to be time-bound. The only commonality – and the defining characteristic that distinguishes it from “bedroom D/s” – is that it incorporates all of those non-sexual aspects of D/s that are absent from bedroom D/s relationships. The relationship is …. wait for it …. full spectrum.”

Given the complexities of various dynamics, the vast differences in interpretation, and the failure of “24/7” to truly address and define many dynamics in a way that is commonly understood, I am in favor of making the shift to “full spectrum” as a more favorable classification.

So, now to circle back to your questions again, Master. They are so intertwined! If a dynamic is a mindset, as I propose, not merely a moment in time, then without question, “24/7” is not only possible in this day and age, we are living it!

© reflectedtruthsblog 2019
Posted:Jan 9, 2019 7:03 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2019 9:20 pm
People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth when you can show yourself to them when you stand in front of them and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.

Grammar Matters...Something funny.
Posted:Jan 8, 2019 8:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2019 11:28 pm

I am His
Posted:Jan 7, 2019 7:19 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2019 6:24 am
He is relentless, day, night, afternoon, morning,

My arousal His goal, my orgasms His to claim

To grant or to withhold, to force or deny.

A decision made, to wait. A while. His while.

To edge, be edged, and edge some more

The future date fixed but both near and far,

Taunting from its distance, tempting, teasing.

Teasing, constantly teasing. My mind tethered to His,

Waiting, wanting, craving both release and control.

My pleasure derives from His. His will is my obedience.

Wet He wants me, dripping and craven I shall be.

I serve at His pleasure.

I am His.


©reflectedtruthsblog 2018

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