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Inspirational Sayings
Posted:Oct 3, 2018 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2019 10:14 am

One of my pet hates is inspirational sayings. One of my mind games is turning them around or altering them. I think they make just as much or even more sense after.

Poverty can't buy happiness either.

From mighty oak trees little acorns grow.

The carrot is mightier than the stick.

The only thing better than an understanding woman is an underlying one.

He who is lost ….. hesitates.

If you think you are a wit - you are half right

I just hate intolerant people - they really piss me off.

Nostalgia is just not the same as it used to be.

Look after the dollars and the pennies look after themselves.

Anticipation is half the fun - but not the best half.

not a gynecologist but I don't mind taking a look.

The earth will inherit the meek.

The mind is like a parachute – except in the direst emergency it's better to keep it firmly closed and sit on it.

Time is on nobody's side.

Is the glass half full or half empty - depends if you are drinking from it or pouring into it.

If nobody was there to see, how do you know that tree in the forest fell?

Where there's brass, there's muck.

Cowardice is the better part of discretion.
Fake News
Posted:Feb 20, 2019 1:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2019 10:26 pm
Seems fake news is nothing new. I ran across a report from February 1873 about a Russian invasion of NZ. It contained such details as 953 troops landing in Auckland, seizing all the gold and valuables from the banks and taking the Mayor and other leading citizens hostage and demanding ransom. Not surprisingly this report caused widespread panic.

The publisher claimed to be trying to gain support for improvement of local defence forces. He claimed that astute citizens would have realised it was a hoax because of an asterisk in the headline and the fact that the date given was three months in the future. The name of the warship, the Kaskowiski (cask of whiskey) was also considered a clue.

Is there nothing new the sun?
By the Numbers
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 1:29 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2019 10:01 am

Some have blogged and I suspect many more have noticed that numbers here on alt change. The total number of responses to my posts varies from time to time and from place to place within alt. Some lists include comments I have made myself and my responses to others comments and other lists don't, but all seem to vary over time.

I thought his phenomenon needed urgent study. Like numbers on a restaurant bill in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy books, a whole field lay open before me. There was no telling what amazing discoveries might be revealed, or the uses to which they could ultimately be put. So i devoted the entirety of my life over the last ten minutes to researching and pondering, and I'm happy to announce that I've reduced the whole problem to two easily understood principles, which I modestly assume will be named in my honour. They are:

The first principle of arero; Alt is out to make money from this site
The second principle of arero; They really don't give a shit about anything else

Peer review and constructive criticism is welcome. Please keep words short and sentences simple as I have difficulty understanding otherwise.
A Kept Man
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 1:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2019 1:30 pm

Now where were we? Oh, yeah, my marriage was over, my girlfriend was gone and my attempt at running a pub had failed, not miserably but fairly comprehensively. I sat and licked my wounds for a month or so, went bush with my daughter and her friend and thought things over. I had some capital salvaged from the wreck but I needed to be earning a living. I thought about trying to get an electrical apprenticeship but my age was kind of against me and I couldn't do it from where I was living. I decided to go back to what I knew – playing monopoly, but no hotels this time. I bought a run down old house in the city for next to nothing and set about restoring it. I would camp there for a couple of nights, working all my waking hours, then have a night at home to see my cat and recuperate.

My old bar manager moved in to help because he needed a place to live and he had lots of handyman skills too. We went through that house in four months, rebuilt the kitchen, the bedroom and lounge ceilings, the rotten wall in the sun room. Painted inside and out, put in a new fireplace, cut trees, put up fences, replaced broken windows. It looked quite respectable when we were done and I had no trouble renting it so at least I had some income. I borrowed some money and started over on another place.

My ex was shacked up with a guy and going to nursing school and I was glad to see her settled. She was even talking about marrying him. I still felt pretty bad about dumping her. Then she came very close to dying from a blood clot that migrated to her lung and immediately afterwards split with her new guy. From all I've heard since, he was a total arsehole – well, he'd have to be to be worse than me. So she asked if she could have a room in the place we were working on. I had no objections. Call me a fool but I didn't see what was coming. She asked about my girlfriend and I said there'd been no contact for several months, then she asked if I was willing to try getting back together. At this stage the divorce papers were all finalised and just waiting our signatures, which had to be witnessed by an authorised person of course. I just hadn't bothered with organising that. There didn't seem to be much rush any more and I never was good at getting stuff like that done.

So we moved into one room and she became my ex ex. Then she graduated and became my Nurse. There were a few bumps along the road. We separated again for a few weeks at one stage. Nurse couldn't stand my bar manager so I ended up borrowing even more money and buying yet another house, with a shed that had been used for a tattoo studio and had a shower and toilet. I built a kitchen in there and installed a fireplace and that became our town flat. The rent from the house paid the loan. I still had the place in the country and that was our main home. Sometimes we spend more time at one place and sometimes at the other, depending on where Nurse is working. When people ask what I do I tell them I'm a kept man.

I stopped buying houses about four years ago and since then prices have more than doubled but I'm in no hurry to sell. With interest rates so low the rents pay the loan and provide quite a bit of income as well which all goes into maintenance and further improvements and paying down the loan quicker. I suppose I will be first against the wall when the revolution comes but the revolution seems to be getting on rather slowly in this part of the world.

And the future? Who knows? The sun came up this morning and it's shining now. The trees are dripping with fruit, the watermelons are fat to nearly bursting and the honeycomb I took off the hives yesterday is waiting to be extracted. The beef will have to wait until it's colder before he gets killed but meanwhile there's a pile of firewood to split and stack away. Life is pretty good. Maybe the sun will come up again tomorrow, but if it doesn't there's bugger all we can do about it.
1 comment
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 10:16 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2019 10:01 am

I'm dismayed to read yet more calls for politicians to be thrown out of office, mainly, it seems, because someone doesn't like the things they say. Even if they have done wrong, there's a process to follow. Even worse, the same people seem to want to allow all kinds of bad behaviour on the part of those they do support and want to block any kind of investigation into whether that behaviour constituted a crime.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I don't want to live in a society where one's actions are judged according to which side of the political divide they are on. We should hold those we support to the same standard as those we oppose and apply the same rules to each. These principles have been fought over and defended at the cost of millions of lives during the past century. Don't throw them away!
The Loser
Posted:Feb 16, 2019 1:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2019 7:15 pm

The next installment of my life story, in which our hero is revealed to be a lying, cheating loser.

The house I bought in the country was basically derelict. I spent the next two years restoring it, rebuilding parts from the floor up and demolishing one section entirely. New plumbing and wiring throughout, new cladding, new kitchen and bathroom. Also planted an orchard and replaced most of the fences on the land. Not having any debt, the lease of the pub provided a good income, but once again the proverbial was about to hit the fan.

The pub business was failing and the lessee stopped paying rent. I was sure I could do better so after a long legal battle he moved out and the lease was terminated. I took the furniture in payment for the missed rent, found a manager for the bar and set up a cafe in the old lounge bar, which was right on the main street corner. My daughters came back to cook in it and it took off. Weekends there would be a line of motorbikes halfway down the street, middle aged guys in leathers everywhere eating and drinking and having a great time. Evenings there would be teachers and farmers and truck drivers having a quiet dinner. Around New Year it just went ballistic with all the holidaymakers.

Trouble was, it was not making money. Labour costs were too high, the building was old and inefficiently set up and the bar was not performing well. Typical of country pubs everywhere. Besides this, my marriage was falling apart. We separated, got back together, then separated again. I joined alt and soon found myself a lady although she was halfway around the world. This is where the lying part comes in. I had said in my profile I was divorced, not merely separated. I assumed I might find an online dalliance but I never expected it to get too serious. Well, it did. And to cap things off, my wife wanted to try getting back together once more. She actually did stay over a few nights and I did tell my girlfriend I had someone staying, but I didn't mention who it was. I didn't tell the wife I had a girlfriend though. That was the cheating part.

Of course, the girlfriend found me out. I assumed that was all over, but she hung around. After a few days I decided to hell with it, and told my wife what was going on. It's not like we were properly reconciling. It was more like sex with the ex. Well, she was gone of course, so I got serious about wooing my online lady. By and by I bought a ticket to Canada and went to visit her, which was a huge thing for me. Never left NZ before, seldom even visited the big city. I felt we got on OK but I did feel frustrated by a few things. Her home was small and crowded and I felt a bit like a bull in a china shop. Also, I was not confident driving so she drove us everywhere. They drive on the wrong side of the road you know, unlike the rest of the empire, and the landscape was so flat I found it impossible to keep my bearings. I suppose a real dominant would have marched in and taken control but I struggled. Still, it was a nice visit and a bit of a wrench leaving, knowing it would be months before she returned the visit. I had high hopes for that return. I wanted to show her NZ, and my place, where I'm comfortable and confident. It was not to be.

I put the pub on the market, but a little thing they called a financial crisis caused property prices here to plunge. I hung on for another year but I was losing money. In the end I accepted an offer way below those that I'd spurned earlier. I got back what I'd paid initially, but lost everything I'd put into renovating and running the place. I still had my home and some cash but I felt pretty beaten.

Meanwhile, my girlfried had talked about visiting, fixed a date and then postponed it, bought a ticket then changed her mind and cancelled it. She had her reasons but it was pretty hard to take. After the pub sold, our contacts got fewer and less rewarding. I came to the conclusion that she would not be coming here and that even if she did, we had no long term future together. I called her at Christmas and left a message as she was out. We have had no further contact.

So, liar, cheater and loser. That I deserved it all just made it harder to take.
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2019 9:32 pm
This looks like a fun toy. Fun for the one using it on another. Of course, the originals were sharply pointed, but let's not get too cruel. And this one is adjustable, depending on just how high you want her to hold her chin.

Big White Butt
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 2:33 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2019 10:16 pm
Posted:Feb 14, 2019 11:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2019 9:53 pm

What happens when AI becomes self aware? Will robots have rights? The same rights as humans or different ones? What about when one develops feelings for a human, and the human for the robot? It's not as far fetched as you might think. People become attached to their pets and even their homes and cars. It's not impossible that robots might return those feelings, or some facsimile of them.

Will it be acceptable to mistreat a robot? Already there are brothels with sex dolls, and there are interactive dolls available. Much of the demand seems to be for child like dolls, which manufacturers and providers currently will not make available. But what if someone buys an animated, interactive sex doll? Would it be permissible to, say, beat it and mistreat it despite it's struggles and protests? This idea will be repugnant to most but I can guarantee it will turn some on.

Will existing laws be sufficient to deal with such things? Laws around consent and harm will not apply if the robots are regarded as objects. I can do what I like with my computer. Perhaps robots should be classified as animals. animals have rights, just not the same rights as humans. I cannot legally mistreat or fuck my cow but I can kill it so long as I do it humanely. It sounds preposterous, but classifying robots as animals might be the simplest solution.

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