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Party 2
Posted:Dec 8, 2018 2:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 4:07 pm
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The trip was less than 20 miles to a home in the woods on a mountaintop. We parked and as we walked up the stone paving to the cabin I asked the Turk what I should do---should I stay close to him or mingle---how far should I let things go? All he said to me was his typical monosyllable: Relax and then he added--mingle, do what you want---I will be around. A bit flabbergasted, I followed behind him as he opened the door---his having not bothered to knock---I guessed that we were expected? The large room we entered into was evidently the main room of the cabin, dimly lit with some soft music playing in the background. From what I could see--quickly scanning the room as my eyes adjusted to the darker interior, there were four people in the room, as Turk and I entered. He went to a couple (I was pleased to see at least two other females there) and greeted an average height man, not bad looking although he did have a bit of a belly---but his smile was pleasant enough! He appeared to be wearing only loose, printed boxer shorts and his companion was a somewhat stout female who was naked except for a pair of flesh-toned panties--a full panti somewhat transparent---her beautiful, full bush was visible through the sheer material! She had large breasts which I am not fond of, however her huge tan nipples more than made up for my preference for small breasted women! She had short hair and a nice smile and looked at me with some scrutiny. The Turk introduced me as his girlfriend, Connie and I shook the man in the boxers hand---he surprised me by reaching up and kissing me on my cheek as he welcomed me! I took the woman's hand---perhaps she noticed that I held her hand gently, but firmly and perhaps a little too long as I exclaimed: "charmed" to her! The room was not large but in the opposite corner to the right were another couple. They made no move to come toward us and seemed (at least the other woman seemed) to ignore our entrance and was continuing a conversation with a taller man wearing what appeared to be skintight bicycle shorts, his chest was bare and somewhat hairy! Turk led me toward them--the taller man seem to have noticed us immediately when we entered and I was introduced to the both of them--I noticed the man was slightly shorter than me and the woman who was quite physically stunning was of average height. She was wearing yoga pants that molded onto her perfect ass wonderfully and was also wearing a halter top--her breasts were much smaller than the first woman's from what I could see. Overall they appeared to be a couple that were very fit and who, no doubt frequented some local health club on a regular basis! The man who seemed a tad aloof, nevertheless shook my hand warmly and invited me to make myself at home! The petite lady with the spectacular ass was anything but warm---freezing cold actually and only glanced at me for a second, before returning her attention to her partner. Turk went to get us both drinks as I backed away and stood more in the center of the room, looking out the picture window--the only natural light in that main room. When Turk returned with my drink--a toxic strong gin and tonic, he had a strange look on his face as he told me to enjoy myself as he and his cold beer returned to the second couple we had met. I stood there continuing to pretend to look out the window and the mid-day sun that shown through, as i could feel at least two pairs of eyes on me. I decided that as soon as i finished my drink---I would remove my green tunic and belt and see where this party was going to lead me---or I---lead it?
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The Party
Posted:Dec 8, 2018 12:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 4:04 pm
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I had not long to wait for 'the Turk' to call me---that was my nickname for him since everything about him, including his name was a mystery to me! Of course--none of us were giving out much personal information about ourselves--it seemed to be an unwritten rule about this underground group that I was apparently joining, weather I wanted to or not! Perhaps this 'Party' was going to act as my my initiation? If, of course, I passed and by passing I guess I was meaning became 'accepted---invited back? I would be allowed membership into a very dark and mysterious club of like-minded members? I must say that even with such short notice---I was cross-dressed in such a way that I knew that the elements of attraction would be undeniable---such was my confidence in my own sexiness---my female persona 'Connie' would be fully on display! With wig and makeup, lightly applied---my Hunter green tunic, tied at the waist, concealed the lace tops of my stockings, held up by an ornate garter-belt---and my corset---no panties though! I love my panties but the Turk had insisted that I leave them off! I also never bothered with a brassier or silicon breasts---I figured that they would just be something else to worry about and I just did not think they added anything further to the impression that I wanted to create--that of myself as a fully functioning woman.The outfit was finished with a pair of gold ballerina style slippers---due to my height, I could only wear flat soled shoes in the hope of offsetting my over six feet in height! My escort, as we agreed had picked me up at the town park where we had first met nearly a week before--I was nervous about leaving my car there again, but the Turk just told me to get in and not worry--according to him, nobody paid much attention to who came and who went and if my car stayed there even overnight---it would be there when I came back? Nevertheless, I was very ill at ease with the idea--particularly given what I was doing and the gathering I was about to join )-; ! As we departed, many thoughts raced through my mind--who were these people--how many were there going to be there and what exactly was going to be expected/demanded of me---would anybody there know me---or I them? Would I be filmed or video taped---a record of this affair that might one day surface to be used as blackmail against me? A million and one thoughts--a million and one warning bells going off in my head and I was jarred out of my mental reveries by the Turks hand which had been placed on my upper thigh---his only comment: you look nice, as we proceeded further into Maine---destination unknown!
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Part IV
Posted:Dec 6, 2018 1:57 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 2:43 pm
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There is something eerie, disquieting and alien, as in (outer space) alien about an uncircumcised penis! Having always been around circumcised people---it is just something completely out of my circle of experience! The closest I can come to for a comparison is a dog's or a horse's penis---as we have all probably witnessed a dog licking itself---this is the closest I can come to describing an uncircumcised man? There I was, nevertheless, on all fours, lubed and waiting for my newly imposed Master to take me with his alien cock )-: ? I waited as I felt him against my opening---that tight and as yet, untried hole of mine. But at the last, after all of his silence---all of his one and two word sentences--curtly delivered to me in harsh commands---there was that gentle (for him) reassurance that he would take it easy with me--this being my first time? He rejected the suggestion of a condom---something the prospect of which terrified me! I was worried about disease of course---had heard enough horror stories to give me nightmares for a lifetime! But then I reflected on his large, full balls---smooth to the touch and heavy--- the fantasy of hot semen forced deep into me---the thought of it, I must admit had me hypnotized/transfixed! I was his slave and he KNEW it and so whatever he decided---that was what would be done---I had, in the end, no say in the matter! Again I felt the pressure at my doorway and now his voice--easy, relax---easy, relax and then he had me open---at least so that his alien flesh sheathed head was in me, thanks to the Vaseline and his remarkable calming words! I felt myself letting go---trusting to fate and luck and focusing on his voice--his words repeated over and over again--relax. After a bit of effort, he was all the way in now---all the way in--barebacked on me! Now the pace quickened---now I was resigned and fully accepting him---my full trust was in him and he KNEW it! I felt him get even bigger---harder with our mutual understanding of one another---our contract had been signed---we were in it together now---I could not back out and did not want to and he knew it, as he knew he was NOTHING without me---nothing without being balls deep in me and at last, I felt my power over HIM! Now he was close---he was not gentle with me anymore--the time for gentleness was past---way past us, as his powerful hands griped my soft, round hips and he slammed into me---my hole taking him in, welcoming him as my captor----I was his prey and he was about to fulfill me! With one last forward thrust, balls slapping my own---he came hot--full of fury and man semen! Later and just before dark when he brought me back to my car in the park where we first met---seemingly a lifetime ago----I could still feel myself leaking his semen out---I was wet with him and I loved that feeling---the knowledge and the power that I had over him! As I exited his car he demanded my cell phone number---he said he would be in touch--soon---there was a place where he would take me to meet his friends---I was to dress in my female persona---I was to be ready for anything and everything. He said it in his low voice---a voice without emotion and it was NOT a request---it was a command! I waited until he had a pen and some scratch paper and I carefully recounted my telephone number---I did not ask him how soon---how far---I was simply to wait for his call and when it came---I was to come, as simple and uncomplicated as that!
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Part 3
Posted:Dec 6, 2018 12:45 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 2:44 pm
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In recalling the events of this experience---and this now being my Part 3 segment I recalled another event in my early life, going back several decades that may inform the reader as to how I became what I am today. I was nineteen and touring Europe on my Peugeot racing bike as well as affording myself of the excellent public transportation found there! I found myself one afternoon in a remote small town in Germany, in the Black Forest region---tired from being up since early morning and having traveled many kilometers on my bike, I decided to take a pause and enjoy some excellent German beer at the local tavern! I parked my bike outside and caring my backpack in, sat down at a table. Before I could order anything a swarthy, short middle aged man came to my table from another table where he had (evidently) been sitting alone. I was surprised by his forward behavior but this being Europe---one is always open to the unexpected! I took him to be Turkish as their were many of his background who had immigrated to Germany and other European countries over the last several decades! His appearance as well as the strong odor of garlic convinced me that I was right. He could not speak a word of English and I suppose he may have taken me for German as I am fair-skinned and had light brown hair. He bought me my beer after I did my best to protest and try to buy him a beer as I assumed that he was simply lonely and was hungry for some company? When the beer arrived, we toasted one another and then when he realized that verbal communication was not going to reveal his (true) intentions---he did something very curious! He curled his left hand into what looked like a tunnel and then with his right index finger, moved it back and forth into the hole of his left hand! At last (being so young and naive at the time) I finally, with some shock written on my face, realized the implications of the sign language he had resorted to! He wanted to fuck me---I nervously shook my head in the negative, while quickly finishing my beer and begged off from his company---trying to be as apologetic as I could with my eyes and my mannerisms! I quickly remounted my bicycle after getting my backpack on and got the hell on down the road as fast as I could! I am taking the time to tell this story because now in the home of this strange man, naked and on my way to the bathroom, with him behind me--watching me---I was reminded of that former time--my shock and now look where I found myself? This man, whom I had agreed to go home with was dark, swarthy and of few, if any words of communication, but I knew what he wanted--or at least, I (thought) I knew and now decades later--I was his , submissive slave-- to please him in any way that I could! Frightened and yet immensely excited and wondering----if I knew then, what I know now about myself---would I have gone at mid-day with the other man--the Turk, dark and menacing---off to some abandoned hay loft or storage room or perhaps the hovel that he called home---stripped and let the Turk do to me what this man was doing to me---or perhaps much worse? All this was in my mind as I made the short trip to the small, dirty bathroom of this man that had just made me submit to a large enema---an enema that was dying to escape from me! I was about to close the door only to be further mortified and horrified when he said in a low commanding voice---Don"T touch that door! I sat down on his toilet--- desperately to relieve myself and he made me keep the door open--I could hear him doing something and then moments later entered, completely naked! I mentioned the room was small and now with him in it--in front of me as I sat on the toilet--there was no escape from him and no doubt that I my bowels must have relief--his large belly and chest were very hairy and he had me pined on the toilet and no where to go! My eyes pleaded with him to give me space , but to no avail--he just smiled down on me and moved his groin closer to my face. I took hold of his soft but large cock and was startled to notice at last that he was uncircumcised---I had never seen one before and so fascination overcame me and I took him into my mouth, which was clearly his desire! As I indicated---he was soft and I was close to exploding---needing desperate release and he would not leave---I had no choice and although my body fought against it, because of my shame---I felt myself let go and the flood that came from me! Then it was that I realized why he insisted on being there at the toilet! As I lost all control---he became almost immediately erect n my mouth---the blood rushed to his cock, filled my mouth---choked me! I held his large, heavy, smooth balls in my hand---mostly to keep my mind off of how mortified I was---pinned there by his belly and gagging on his cock! After a bit of time that way---he now fully aroused and needing relief---allowed me to clean myself up and get off of the toilet and back into his bedroom! I was surprised to note that I too was very turned on by the whole experience--fully erect and ready for him! He did not need to say anything but when I lay obediently down on the bed and spread for him--he said: NO-- not that way---get on all fours! I did and for the first time dared to speak: aren't you going to wear some protection? He just smiled that tight smile and told me to shut up---that I would enjoy it more this way---especially it being my first time! Once again, I dared out of abject fear to speak: but what about---that was as far as I got! He slapped me hard on my already heavily abused ass cheeks and said: I am not going to tell you again---shut up, relax and enjoy yourself---or not! Obediently but with real fear, I did as I was told---all fours, spread wide for him and waited. He took some more Vaseline from the used jar on his nightstand and lubricated my opening---even putting two of his thick inside of me to make sure---I winced at the intrusion, but knew much worse violations where yet to come---I braced myself! He surprised me at this point and said that I had been through enough and that he was going to make my first time as easy as he could (-: I was both relieved and surprised and felt myself relax inwardly---something in the tone of his voice made me believe that I could (at last) trust him?
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Discipline is the Mother of Invention Part 2
Posted:Dec 5, 2018 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 2:45 pm
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Much can be known about the inner workings of my mind---my undeveloped sexuality and interpersonal relationships by knowing my beginnings and my unhealthy attachments and unresolved issues with my Father. Without delving too deeply at this time, it is enough to know that I view most men, regardless of their age and women as well as my potential Father and Mother figures. I look for the approval---the acceptance of myself through my (usually) sexual interactions with other men and women. Part two begins with me in the car of the quiet, dark , stout man that I had met by accident in the town park. We had broken the ice with one another there, in the woods and now it was the moment to take things to the next level! I had not lied when I told the stranger whose car I was now in, traveling to an unknown destination (his home) that I had never been penetrated or penetrated another male! Also there was the matter of discipline (mine) that I had attempted to broach with my new friend--this dark and too quiet man? I did not know what the next couple of hours might hold for me, but I was determined to see it through! His house--which was really a mobile home on private land was very close to the wooded park where we had first met---probably less than three miles into Maine, he pulled into a dirt road on the right and then another three hundred yards through the woods brought us to his home! He stopped the car and as he was getting out simply said: follow me. I followed him up the rickety and somewhat decayed steps through the screen and outer door into a carpeted living room, dimly lit. He told me to wait a moment and I saw him peek his head into a closed door just beyond the living room and on the left. He said something to someone inside---sounded like he was just informing someone that he was back and asked after the persons welfare---I could not hear the muffled reply. He closed the door and nodded for me to follow him. We walked down an even darker hallway---the home smelled and looked lived in and not in the best of cleanliness! I could feel an excitement in my stomach and surrounding area---a warm disturbance of the unknown! At the end of the hallway was the master bedroom with its own small accompanying bathroom---a half bath, I was later to discover---sink and toilet. There was a large, disheveled bed in the center of the room---he said only one word to me----it was a low but commanding word---strip! Because he seemed to be of so few words, I decided to say nothing unless directly asked---I striped. As I was taking all my cloths off---I did not dare to look at him and he turned and left the room, closing the door on me. I assumed that he wanted me on the bed and again assumed---face down? I lay there smelling the odor of his body---sheets that needed washing but otherwise, allowed my mind to go blank. I could hear him doing something down at the far end of the house---the kitchen? I lay there for some time and a shiver ran over my naked body---I felt completely defenseless---vulnerable to whatever was in his mind to do---I knew that I would just let him do it. I heard the thump on the carpet---felt the vibrations of his approach and he opened the door and closed it as he entered the room. He came over to me and I could hear him unbuckling his belt---pulling it off, through the loop guides---he laid the leather strap on my bare ass and said not to make a sound. He reached over and turned on a radio on the nightstand---turned the volume up---one of those conservative talk shows. I turned my head to see him double the belt and he began to slap my plump cheeks with it---lightly at first just so that I could feel the weight of it and its potential to deliver pain. He kept that up for a bit and then gradually started to increase the power of the blows---I do not know how long it went on---he hit me again and again with a force that made me begin to worry if he knew how much he was hurting me? I bit my knuckle as the blows started to raise welts on me---I could feel them---the hot stinging blows! Finally he stopped---there were tears in my eyes but I had resisted crying out---I did not want to give him the satisfaction, besides---I was still thinking about whoever it was in that first room that he had spoken briefly to and wondered if we could be overhead and discovered? He dropped the belt on the bed and went out again---I did not dare to move and wondered with some degree of growing fear, what would be next? I had not long to wait---he returned minutes later---I looked to see him carrying some things into the room---he placed them on the bed. He reached over to my ass crack and with his strong thick thumb and forefinger spread my cheeks---exposing my hole, he took a plastic nozzle---thin but probably 5 inches long and told me to hold still. I could feel him sliding it into me---all five or six inches of it---he must have coated it with something slick/greasy because I hardly felt it going into me! Once he had it fully inserted--he held it fast by pinching my anus to the slender plastic tube. He picked up something that looked like a small football and turned a small dial just underneath and raised the bladder device up over me, as I felt something very warm flowing into me---filling me with some unknown liquid! When I felt full---to the point of bursting he had evidently emptied the rubber enemas contents into me--using a wet wipe at the point that the plastic nozzle entered me---he withdrew the thing and pushed the wipe tight into me---just at the entrance of my hole and again being a dark man of few words told me to go to the toilet!
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Discipline is the Mother of Invention
Posted:Dec 3, 2018 2:47 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2018 12:01 pm
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Because what we do (here on this site and elsewhere) is often hidden and if hidden--then perhaps--- forbidden? What is to be done about fulfilling those dark urges of ours while also obtaining the necessary punishment for our desires? Some---perhaps many can carry out their needs and that which they lust after and do it without (any) feelings of guilt or shame. I am not made like that---if I am going to get something tasty---something forbidden then I also look for the punishment that inevitably comes from satisfying a sick obsession! I was thinking of a place where I would go sometimes---a town park, near a dam of water and in the woods, not far off the main road that carries one into the state of Maine. It has a reputation-----I learned of it because I was working with someone and he remarked, as we passed the entrance: "that is where the gay people hang out". My ears pricked up and I made a mental note of its somewhat obscure location for the possibility of some future visit? It is a good thing that our minds are not easily read, or else I would perhaps find myself in a lot of trouble or certainly having to explain some inexplicable things about myself--my desires and my cravings? In any event---it was not long thereafter that I found myself heading that way---nervous but excited nevertheless about what I would do---how I would conduct myself---how does one alert others--complete strangers as to his (or her) desires? Doing so without drawing the wrong kind of attention---verbal abuse---or worse---physical assault? The danger and risk in a place known for conservatism and a stern view of sexual activity---especially the kind that I had in mind, was very real and therefor risky! As my needs would often out-way and over rule any common sense, I had no choice but to get out of my parked car and 'feel' my way along this risky course of potential action! I was dressed (disguised) as a man---jeans and t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball style cap. I am not inclined to wear hats and especially not anything related to sports but there was a desire to conceal myself to a certain extent! Getting out---I observed only a few cars/trucks and so felt a bit more confidant---this was not my neighborhood and that also made me feel a bit more at ease. The trek into the woods is not difficult and here and there along the 2 to 2.5 mile round-trip there benches and more importantly---my eyes scanned the nearby and more distant brush and tree growth for any kind of cover---a hidden place where dark deeds might be performed out of sight of the regular people or perhaps----just enough cover so that a hiker might (if he trained his sight) detect some offensive and perhaps illegal activity going on only just slightly out of view? I will admit to a certain voyeur side to my personality that is drawn to being involved in an act that might be seen inadvertently by some wandering stranger! It was not long before I noticed first one man and another stopping, looking around or just standing along the way apparently waiting for something or someone? I watched---walked by them---gave some indication of a greeting--friendliness? No response---most seemed embarrassed or pretended not to hear my greeting. Finally I sat down on one of those benches and pretended to be distracted by the water flow off to my right---I continued to be watchful---waiting to see what might transpire? One of the men that I greeted who pretended not to hear me had walked a little further down the trail and then I saw another man--older walking past me and behind the first man. I waited for some time and after about fifteen minutes or perhaps half and hour the older man returned---he had lit up a cigarette and walked past me and stopped just a little way back toward the parked cars and was facing the water while he smoked. After a few more minutes, I decided to be a little more direct and obvious which is NOT my nature. I went over by the man and sat on another bench a few feet from him and attempted some casual conversation: "hi" said I and he turned and responded: "hi". I said something like I was new to the area and had come to these woods because there was a rumor that I had heard that men came to meet other men here. He just looked at me, without responding, but at least he did not walk away in fear or disgust--he just continued to smoke and look at me. So--with my heart banging in my throat I said: I was hoping to meet someone here and that is why I came. It was at that point that he said to me: "do you want to walk back there"---meaning the way he had come back. I said: "OK" feeling a sense of danger but also excitement as well! As we walked I ventured some (very) personal things about myself--explaining that I liked to dress in women's clothing--particularly their intimates---it felt very gratifying to tell this complete stranger this! I really (wanted) him to know this about me---dangers be dammed! He did not respond--just kept walking until we reached a tree--well leafed out but only minimal cover from the trail! He turned to me and put his hand on my crotch and started to rub me---I unbuttoned the top so that he could touch me directly---I unbuttoned him enough so that I could hold his cock and in particular to get my hand on his balls---I had always had a fascination with a man's balls---big and full of semen! At that point he got down on his knees and took me into his mouth---I must admit---it felt wonderful---even more so in that semi-public and exposed place! I really wanted his hands on my smooth and full ass---I wanted him to squeeze me and pinch me, slap, claw and bite my ass! He grabbed my ass cheeks tightly and pulled them apart as I started to lose control of myself! I must admit that grabbing my ass like that---stretching me--to the point of inflicting pain makes we crazy with lust! Quickly he got up---we both zipped up and returned back to where I had first spoken to him, at the bench! Me now sitting down again and feeling extraordinary---he turned once again toward the water and lit up another cigarette. I ventured a feeble: "thank you" and he said something like: "do you want to fuck"? I said that I had never done that but would like to try---he did not specify who it was that was going to be fucked and I did not ask---frankly---I did not care? I asked him if he had a place nearby as my place was too public---too many curious neighbors. He said that he did and my only other comment was that I liked the discipline of another---that whatever else we did---I needed to be disciplined! He did not respond to that--only turned and then looked back to see if I was following him to his car.
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