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Jag_60 60 M
67 Articles
Score 0.1
Fradulent femme fatale.   9/1/2018

Started off shes looking for a long-term relationship, a week later shes into canines, a week after that shes into having her tits and pussy paddle while on cam. A week later states she never had a Dom, but had met one person and sucked his dick in a car. A week later she states she is a virgin and never had sex and they say men are posers. Lmao


2 Comments, 21 Views, 10 Votes ,5.77 Score
subisoDom2 55 F
0 Articles
Score 0.0
The only way to enjoy a vanilla marriage   9/27/2017

After enjoying vanilla sex with my husband on a summer afternoon, I was straddling him still and I asked for the water from the nightstand. Well the water went down the wrong pipe and I began to choke. Now just so you all know, I've had three children, the largest being 9 lbs 3 oz, so things aren't like they used to be, and when I cough, especially with my legs spread wide apart like they ...


4 Comments, 96 Views, 29 Votes ,6.45 Score
bootlckboy39 46 M
13 Articles
Score 0.5
Threesoom with One Man and two Women   3/24/2017

The man says to the two women "Let s have a threesome and i want to watch". Both smile and say yes. A few days later the bedroom is locked and he hears giggling, laughter then moaning. He looks down to see a little box. He opens the box with a note " For you...", he looks in and sees a nice watch.


4 Comments, 72 Views, 24 Votes ,5.63 Score
JohnnyLightning 60 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
A true black belt at cunilingus.   12/27/2011

My head is between your legs. I can taste your pussy juices; you are very wet now. I run my tongue around the edges of your pussy. I caress your tummy, ass, and your thighs with my hands. I find your g-spot and apply pressure. I open your legs and place my head between your thighs. I rub your tummy some more. I then remove your panties to reveal a very wet pussy. I slowly start licking you around ...


3 Comments, 239 Views, 25 Votes ,4.35 Score
db780 60 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
funny thing i nthe field   12/2/2008

My girl and I were once in a farmers field where there were many small bales of straw scattered around. It was late well after dark. We decided to fuck with me lying on a bale and her astride me, she said she wanted to pee so I told her to let it go, so she did with my cock in her vagina she peed. The piss went over my belly and then around my body and into the bale of straw. It was lovely, we ...


5 Comments, 416 Views, 32 Votes ,4.36 Score
musicandsex 35 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
Embarassing sex stories   10/12/2007

I have my fair share, althought the worst was once when i was in high school. I was with a girl, and we were getting a little loud with the spankings. She was moaning, and we believed that her parents were gone. Right when i was about to come her dad walked in the room to see what the noise was. He turned as white as a ghost, and i ran out of the house as fast as i could, my pants halfway on, as ...


4 Comments, 651 Views, 29 Votes ,4.64 Score
georgenlynn 68 C
1 Article
Score 0.0
The Wierdness Scale   2/14/2007

OK, in our lifestyle weirdness is the norm you might think. I would be inclined to agree, in fact we have met people who are into BDSM and think we are odd because we swing and we switch within our relationship. But my life and family have got to beat just about everything. My eldest daughter runs a fetish club with her dom boyfriend, her sister works there as DJ and her boyfriend ...


3 Comments, 529 Views, 23 Votes ,4.76 Score
zennflower 56 F
10 Articles
Score 0.0
Tongue in Cheek What Kind of Doms Are Out There?   12/6/2006

The "MENTOR? WHAT MENTOR? I AM A SELF TAUGHT" DOM PROFILE Astoundingly instinctual knowledgable Dom looking for kinky girls to play with. His dungeon is on wheels, he calls his cattle prod his "violent wand" and trolls for submissives at family reunions. He is into "improvisation" and has never read a book or a website long enough to do anything more than sign onto a ...


5 Comments, 426 Views, 27 Votes ,6.61 Score
china69god 63 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Angry Preacher   9/21/2006

The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie! A God fearing decent Christian community cannot tolerate such slander. I am embarrassed and will not accept this. Now I want the individual who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!' No one moved. The preacher continued, ...


4 Comments, 1981 Views, 147 Votes ,5.12 Score
china69god 63 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
Chinese Proverbs   8/16/2006

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
...


1 Comments, 208 Views, 19 Votes ,4.84 Score
china69god 63 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
Good Bars   8/4/2006

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!' The others agree that sounds like a good ...


2 Comments, 1785 Views, 78 Votes ,5.87 Score
NibblesNLix 42 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   5/11/2006

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
NibblesNLix 42 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   5/11/2006

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


0 Comments, 85 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
jackudamiona 54 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
the Emporer's Tongue   3/18/2006

Many years ago in ancient Japan, there was a warlord who wanted to be the emporer. He devised a way to defeat the other warlords without fighting. He had four beautiful daughters. He would marry them off to the first four men who passed his test. He had razor sharp metal inserted into his daughters to shredd any man's manhood who attempted to enter them. The first four warlords from ...


2 Comments, 5321 Views, 165 Votes ,1.94 Score
jackudamiona 54 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Sandpaper Sally   3/17/2006

There was this young cowboy who was out on the range for a long time and was looking for a woman to release his pent up tension. He went up to the old bartender in the small town saloon, "Is there a good whore house in this town?" "Sure is youngin, " He winked, "but stay away from Sandpaper Sally." Once there he found that men where lined up out the door waiting for their turn at ...


2 Comments, 3094 Views, 138 Votes ,0.39 Score
heavyballs4u 73 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
da Mattress poem   2/25/2006

Oh, I luv dem Mattress ads on plasma TV He's a sleep-N-she dreams--she was free He wants an electric mattress wit'buttons-N-numbers She wants a trampoline, with him not a fumbler He snores to the roars of NASCARs everywhere She tosses her ass covered blanket up in the air When dey do bang anyway, he's not even there Her thoughts -R- with Bad-Boy of yesteryear She wants to be eaten ...


0 Comments, 67 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
heavyballs4u 73 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
to the tune of Disco,... Makin' it and then bangin' it....   1/25/2006

<br> I <br> Oh, Who's that banging at your door? Just me, the Old Bastard looking at your ass somemore, Or, was it maybe in lingerie at the department store-- Who wants to hop in bed with U -- certainly not to snore, Oh, who's that bastard banging at your door? <br> II <br> Yes Sexy Lady, I'm disease free and plan on stayin' this way, Not tokin or ...


0 Comments, 109 Views, 9 Votes ,1.29 Score
hothothappy 43 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
Love Hurt   1/19/2006

Two old ladies into thier eighties were peeking into a hole in thier apartment wall; watching a young couple working up a real sweat. One of ladies says, "My how they remind me of those hot and naughty nights we used to make nookie. What was your husband like?" Oh, he was a pain in the ass!


0 Comments, 255 Views, 13 Votes ,2.14 Score
AKashj 31 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Your Humor   1/18/2006

Ever thought that you were boring? That maybe you broke up with the hot guy because you didn't have it? Everyone has some excitment, the trick is figuring out what it is! For an example: My first boyfriend ditched me after a week. Said I wasn't worth it. I read every self-help book and article I could, no difference. Then sparatically he called and we went to dinner, and I made a small ...


2 Comments, 538 Views, 39 Votes ,4.05 Score
enchanteddreams0 41 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Why Man Got His First Blow Job   12/9/2005

"Don't eat that Eve!" Adam hollered as he saw his mate plucking the ripe fruit from the branch. <br> "Why not?" <br> "Cause God said we couldn't." <br> "So? Look how much fruit it bears. It would be a stupid waste not to eat it. Besides, none of the other trees have fruit that is so fat and plentiful and I don't really feel like walking to the next nearest tree. ...


0 Comments, 384 Views, 18 Votes ,1.76 Score
baroness69 43 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Who pissed on my beer?   11/29/2005

My mom and her boyfriend went away for the weekend, several years ago. THey went to Lincoln City, on the Oregon Coast. He bought a case of beer to take with him. <br> He had so many drinks that night that he could barely stand. Mom said that around 3:30 that morning, he went to the bathroom in his birthday suit. She said he fell three times on his way to the bathroom that was only ...


0 Comments, 294 Views, 13 Votes ,4.65 Score
clitikler 71 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
Old Harold   9/7/2005

There this guy Harold who's like 97 years old and lives in a nursing home. Anyway every evening after dinner Harold would go out to a secluded part of the garden and just sit on the glider thinking about all of his accomplishments and his long life. <br> One evening Ethel, an 87 year old, strolled by and saw Harold. She asked what he was doing and they started to talk. Well ...


0 Comments, 360 Views, 13 Votes ,3.14 Score
clitikler 71 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Affair?   8/15/2005

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they went off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the longest and thickest dick he had ever seen. <br> "I'm sorry, Mr Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a ...


0 Comments, 403 Views, 18 Votes ,5.31 Score
Doc_Sonar 61 M
19 Articles
Score 0.0
What Did You Say?   7/19/2005

Consider this: <br> A man and a woman are driving cars in opposite directions on a twisting mountain road. <br> As they pass one another, the woman yells out her open car window to the man, "Pig!" The quite surprised man yells back, "Bitch!" and they continue on their way. <br> A few moments later, the man rounds a blind curve, smashes into a hog, and ...


0 Comments, 369 Views, 25 Votes ,5.90 Score
clitikler 71 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
One word or two   5/23/2005

An elderly couple had been seeing each other for quite a while. So they figured marriage was the next logical step. <br> One evening they went out to dinner for a heart to heart talk. They discussed everything from finances, living arrangments to snoring. Finally the gentleman broached the subject of intamacy. <br> He askes how the lady felt about sex. She replied, "well ...


0 Comments, 389 Views, 20 Votes ,6.06 Score
clitikler 71 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Tattoo   5/21/2005

Ben came home late that night. His wife Linda asked "where the hell have you been?". I got a tattoo he said proudly. A tattoo she said angrily, "What kind of tattoo?". I got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my dick. "Why would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick" she asked. "Well one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, sometimes I like to play with my ...


1 Comments, 400 Views, 21 Votes ,4.12 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,BAR-MAID'S,GIVING.MY.HUSBAND.TOO.MUCH.SERVICE!""   4/16/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]Barmaid.too.coozy! Carmen who Darby had called while riding SANTA'S pony, sat beside SANTA and pretend to be 14 Darby on Tiffany's livingroom Love-Seat settee and SANTA was consoling her. Carmen told him her problem with her husband's club bar-maid. "My husband belongs to a private club where wives are welcome. People often greet one-another by kissing hello, goodbye ...


0 Comments, 214 Views, 5 Votes
clitikler 71 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
A Day At The Races   4/15/2005

This guy is just sitting there quitely reading his newspaper when his wife walks up and smacks him on the head with a magazine. <br> "Ouch" he says. "What was that for?" <br> "That was for the piece of paper I found in your pants with the name Laura Lou written on it" she replied. <br> "Remember a couple of weeks ago I went to the track? That was the name of one of ...


0 Comments, 332 Views, 17 Votes ,5.53 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA, MY DR. DIDN'T SWALLOW MY CUM!"   2/26/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]CHICAGO;DrsuesDrfrCum Dr.Richard O.Phillips says his former lover a Dr.Sharon Irons deceived him by not swallowing his semen during an oral sex session and using said semen to get herself (pg) pregnant by artificial insemination. Dr.Phillips accuses Dr.Irons of a "calculated, profound, personal betrayal" She says they had the baby through normal sexual intercourse. The ...


0 Comments, 261 Views, 14 Votes ,1.70 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,ARE.OUR.M.Ps.IN.IRAQ.MISBEHAVING?"   2/7/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]IRAQ;M.P.Mud Wrestler Demoted: A female member of a Ntl-Guard.unit was demoted for indecent exposure after a pre-Valentine's Day mud wrestling party at the Army run Camp Bucca detention center in Iraq. The incident involved the Ashville, NC-105th, Military Police Battalion, said the Baccu Camp spokesman, Lt.Col.Barry Johnson, he would not ...


0 Comments, 153 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANTA;RETIREMENT a CHILD'S VIEW:   2/3/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D bust, and carmel nipples, that matched her satiny skin, he had met her on one of those kinky B&B/S&M.com Websistes profiled as a submissive;introduced her to a closed sesssion of play scene fantasy B&B accompanied with his chief ...


0 Comments, 179 Views, 8 Votes
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANATA*^CRIMES*AGAINST*NATURE^*   1/25/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]*WEIRD*TRUE*TALES*: DURAHAM, NCn Dec.gang member RobertD.Jphnson, was sentenced to 15 years for shooting off the genitals of a fellow Blood(negroe) who was wws trying to leave the group. The jury rejected an even harsher penalty for "maliicious castration" settling.on"non-maliciouscastratioin because Johnson actually shot the man in the leg, but that the bullet ...


1 Comments, 167 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
KAUPHY KUP(Santa"sCOMIC.STRIP)   1/22/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]A MORNING STARTER: SANTA OVER HEARD IN TIMES PAST SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON: "I say, Holmes the toilet is dripping water onto the bathroom floor" "Indeed, " said Holmes, getting up and heading for the kitchen. "Are you sure?""Yes, it'sleaking definitely leaking." "Is it now?"ask ed Holmes, grabbing some food ...


0 Comments, 78 Views, 4 Votes ,0.53 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
ANOTHER.KAUPH.KUP(COMIC.STRIP):   1/22/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]Graveside.gift&arrest SecretSantaOver"KauphyKup"comicstripFor two great morning starters: [BALTIMORE]For the 56th year, an unkown man stole into a locked graveyard early on Edgar Allen Poe's birthday and placed three roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac on the writer's grave. To.this.day.no.one.knowstheident-ity of the so-called Poe Toaster ...


0 Comments, 76 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,WHAT.WILL.I.BE.WHEN.I'M.A SENIOR?" .   1/22/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]WILM.N.C.BE.A.SENIOR: SECRETSANTA, Answers his GrandChilds Question "What will I be when I become a Senior Citizen? What will it be like SANTA?" "I'm the life of the party even if it lasts past 10pm, and I'm very good at opening Tyenol child caps with a hammer, yes I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going, _n_I'm awake many ...


0 Comments, 99 Views, 3 Votes
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANTA;[WE DON'T NEEED NO BADGES]   1/16/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]JOLIET, ILL.AM.Robbery:"THSHADOW"SecretSanta's;Alter-Ego, in the"60"s on cold, early, Marchmorn- ing.on.his.wayto.his.then.job, suudd- enly remembers that his cover wife asked him to stop at Joliet's.Super- mrt, and pick up adozen eggs , and a wheat bread on his way to work. He pulled into his usual handicap parking spot at "Honiotes-SuperMart" .in front of the store. ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA-DO.YOU.BELIEVE.IN-FAIRIES?"   1/10/2005

SANTA{DATELIN]FAIRIESnon-Homo_sexual SECRETSANTA has always Been interested in the study oFthe weird, and supernatural, such was the case of Dragons.Krampus, and Fairies. Be it Known that the fairy family includes.brownies, elves, gnomes, gob- lins, fairies, leprechauns, nixies, pix-ies, poltergeists, spirites, trolls and pookahs(like HARVEY.the.7ft.Rabbii) A fairy, by ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,BUY.US.A.GROSS,"TROJANSUPRAS"andWILLYA.KILL.THATLOUD.OVER.THE.COUNTER.TV"   1/5/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]MANCHESTER, IA: Recently SANTA was working on his column, suddenly his "DICOM-3"[LocalHotList] light flash- -ed red. There was Trouble in River- City}like the movie sang goes. SANTA wass faced with not one but two.dilemmas. On.the.Internet.he Was invited.to.a"ThreeHourLate-HappyHour Party by.teeny-boppers.who.called theselves"Fabulous-59-Panthers", a ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 4 Votes ,0.53 Score
JoePerf 46 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
S&M   1/4/2005

Probably the oldest one in the book <br> The Masochist says to the Sadist: "Please hurt me!" <br> The Sadist smile and says: "No!"


1 Comments, 372 Views, 19 Votes ,3.26 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 89 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANT;WOERST DRINKING BUDDY(BlackBear)   1/4/2005

SANRA{DATELINE]NEAR-CONCRETE, WASH: While making his rounds Xmas.Eve SeCRETSANTA.discovered.a.black.bear passed out on the lawn of the Bakers Lake Resoert near Concrete, Wash. surronded by at least 36 empty cans of (Local)Ranier Beer and one lone empty can of Busch Lite. SANTA notified the WildLife Forest Rangers Sgt.B.Heinrick investigated and fooundthat the inebriated bear, had ...


0 Comments, 133 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
enchanteddreams0 41 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Rejected   12/10/2004

Things ive herd women say when asking them on a date. and yes they really said these things. <br> No, <br> Never, <br> Id rather be singel for the rest of my life, <br> uh uh uh uh yea right, <br> who the fuck are you, <br> youre still a virgin arnt you, <br> depends on how much money you make, <br> sorry Im needing ...


2 Comments, 326 Views, 22 Votes ,2.41 Score
enchanteddreams0 41 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Things ive herd during sex.   12/10/2004

This is a collection ive herd during sex. and no its not all about me. some is about past roommates. these are from the bedroom of my x-roommate <br> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? <br> Is it in yet. <br> Stop fingering me and fuck me. <br> (silence, ) he moans, said that was good she said Did something happen. <br> Your fucking kidding me ...


1 Comments, 501 Views, 38 Votes ,2.99 Score
enchanteddreams0 41 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
your wife mabe cheeting on you when   12/10/2004

Your wife maybe cheeting on you when <br> 1. You put on a pair of underware that doesnt fit you. <br> 2. you wife has a freshly fucked face and she clames she was masterbaiting and waiting for you. <br> 3 you call your house while you are at work and noone answers, she said she went to the store, but there are no shopping bags. <br> 4. there are socks ...


1 Comments, 469 Views, 36 Votes ,2.20 Score
MasterSeverin 70 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
EVENTIDE - A Poem Of Love   3/16/2004

EVENTIDE..... <br> Twilight reached down, outstretched fingers scratching the back of the day now slowly descending. <br> She caressed with lips of darkest night, gentle kiss of sleep, fragrant touch of evening, as the sun passes downward, beneath ragged coverlets of cloud. <br> Twilight grew older, dimmed then darkened, as ...


0 Comments, 118 Views, 59 Votes ,4.78 Score