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db780 65 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
funny thing i nthe field   8/11/2022

My girl and I were once in a farmers field where there were many small bales of straw scattered around. It was late well after dark. We decided to fuck with me lying on a bale and her astride me, she said she wanted to pee so I told her to let it go, so she did with my cock in her vagina she peed. The piss went over my belly and then around my body and into the bale of straw. It was lovely, we ...


10 Comments, 472 Views, 57 Votes ,3.70 Score
georgenlynn 73 C
1 Article
Score 0.0
The Wierdness Scale   11/7/2021

OK, in our lifestyle weirdness is the norm you might think. I would be inclined to agree, in fact we have met people who are into BDSM and think we are odd because we swing and we switch within our relationship. But my life and family have got to beat just about everything. My eldest runs a fetish club with her dom boyfriend, her sister works there as DJ and her boyfriend is ...


9 Comments, 562 Views, 40 Votes ,4.20 Score
zennflower 61 F
10 Articles
Score 0.0
Tongue in Cheek What Kind of Doms Are Out There?   11/7/2021

The "MENTOR? WHAT MENTOR? I AM A SELF TAUGHT" DOM PROFILE Astoundingly instinctual knowledgable Dom looking for kinky girls to play with. His dungeon is on wheels, he calls his cattle prod his "violent wand" and trolls for submissives at family reunions. He is into "improvisation" and has never read a book or a website long enough to do anything more than sign onto a ...


8 Comments, 455 Views, 39 Votes ,6.25 Score
AKashj 36 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Your Humor   11/7/2021

Ever thought that you were boring? That maybe you broke up with the hot guy because you didn't have it? Everyone has some excitment, the trick is figuring out what it is! For an example: My first boyfriend ditched me after a week. Said I wasn't worth it. I read every self-help book and article I could, no difference. Then sparatically he called and we went to dinner, and I made a small ...


7 Comments, 553 Views, 45 Votes ,4.11 Score
subann4U 71 F
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Spanking   6/30/2021

Well we had been dating a while and my just loved Jim. When he came over he got extra attention and always a treat.

When we went to the bedroom for some fun Teddy would always crawl under the bed during out play time.

One night I am strung up on a hook over the door frame when the paddle connects to my ass. Jim liked to spank and rub, spank then rub my ass. On about the third ...


7 Comments, 261 Views, 47 Votes ,3.30 Score
ClimaxHer 65 M
6 Articles
Score 0.0
Daddy's little squirt   4/18/2023

The saying is true: Before you are momma's little baby, you are 's little squirt.


5 Comments, 76 Views, 45 Votes ,0.10 Score
jackudamiona 59 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Sandpaper Sally   10/19/2023

There was this young cowboy who was out on the range for a long time and was looking for a woman to release his pent up tension. He went up to the old bartender in the small town saloon, "Is there a good house in this town?" "Sure is youngin, " He winked, "but stay away from Sandpaper Sally." Once there he found that men where lined up out the door waiting for their turn at the ...


4 Comments, 3110 Views, 142 Votes ,0.46 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Things ive herd during sex.   11/7/2021

This is a collection ive herd during sex. and no its not all about me. some is about past roommates. these are from the bedroom of my x-roommate <br> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? <br> Is it in yet. <br> Stop fingering me and fuck me. <br> (silence, ) he moans, said that was good she said Did something happen. <br> Your fucking kidding me ...


4 Comments, 506 Views, 40 Votes ,2.84 Score
bootlckboy39 50 M
14 Articles
Score 0.0
Threesoom with One Man and two Women   6/18/2019

The man says to the two women "Let s have a threesome and i want to watch". Both smile and say yes. A few days later the bedroom is locked and he hears giggling, laughter then moaning. He looks down to see a little box. He opens the box with a note " For you...", he looks in and sees a nice watch.


4 Comments, 151 Views, 70 Votes ,3.79 Score
musicandsex 40 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
Embarassing sex stories   1/7/2019

I have my fair share, althought the worst was once when i was in high school. I was with a girl, and we were getting a little loud with the spankings. She was moaning, and we believed that her parents were gone. Right when i was about to come her dad walked in the room to see what the noise was. He turned as white as a ghost, and i ran out of the house as fast as i could, my pants halfway on, as ...


4 Comments, 701 Views, 53 Votes ,4.31 Score
yourpapa2005 74 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
Playful "Pooch"   2/7/2007

I was with the woman I was seeing at the time. She was pretty with personality, nimble and extremely passionate. <br> We were in one of our sessions on her couch in her living room. We had been already through a number of interesting positions. At this point she was straddling me as I sat on the edge of the couch and her legs were at first wrapped around me and then stretched up ...


4 Comments, 1221 Views, 43 Votes ,5.28 Score
screemmachine 63 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
What you READ is not always what you GET !!!!!!   3/15/2005

I have been a standard member at ALT.COM for about four months. In that time period I have read and responded to well over 100 profiles from women. These were women of various ages (ranging from 21 to 75)different nationalities, all with one thing in command. (Seeking male companionship for various different reasons). From these profile I have made a AMAZING and HUMOROUS discovery and ...


4 Comments, 441 Views, 161 Votes ,5.78 Score
l00kn4Him 59 F
2 Articles
Score 0.0
Some wisdom gained by an epic fail.   10/22/2023

Picture a middle aged boring married couple on a Cold winter night, in bed early for change, cuddled together on the couch pretending to watch tv, allowing some passion to build and on comes a very sexy commercial for a his and her warming lube. "Too bad we don't have some of that, " my husband whispers, his warm breath tickling inside my ear bringing goosebumps to my body and that ...


3 Comments, 93 Views, 45 Votes ,3.01 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Rejected   5/23/2019

Things ive herd women say when asking them on a date. and yes they really said these things. <br> No, <br> Never, <br> Id rather be singel for the rest of my life, <br> uh uh uh uh yea right, <br> who the fuck are you, <br> youre still a virgin arnt you, <br> depends on how much money you make, <br> sorry Im needing ...


3 Comments, 327 Views, 22 Votes ,2.41 Score
jackudamiona 59 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
the Emporer's Tongue   11/3/2007

Many years ago in ancient Japan, there was a warlord who wanted to be the emporer. He devised a way to defeat the other warlords without fighting. He had four beautiful daughters. He would marry them off to the first four men who passed his test. He had razor sharp metal inserted into his daughters to shredd any man's manhood who attempted to enter them. The first four warlords from ...


3 Comments, 5328 Views, 166 Votes ,1.95 Score
lovemyass59 64 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
finding out the truth   11/23/2006

Anytime I meet someone- the first and most important thing is to be clear and honest and who we are and what we want. What I love about the NSA, casual sex relationship is the uninhibited honesty, without fear of rejection. Encouraging lovers to share fantasies- these men nearly always start with the harem or at least 2 woman fantasy. Then when I start sharing my DP, DPP, gang bang ...


3 Comments, 601 Views, 20 Votes ,2.61 Score
HuggyBear21 54 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
The Difference Between Men and Women   1/22/2005

I am not the auther of this article (I beleive it was originally submitted by someone called Alison) <br> Let's say a guy named Mike is attracted to a woman named Lisa. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. <br> They continue to see each other regularly, and ...


3 Comments, 397 Views, 166 Votes ,8.29 Score
jtpbigthrob21 39 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Any Funny Humor   12/30/2021

Anyone has any good sex stories? =)


2 Comments, 46 Views, 36 Votes ,0.99 Score
jtpbigcck69 39 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Any good funny sex stories   1/15/2021

Anyone have some funny sex stories to share?


2 Comments, 43 Views, 29 Votes ,1.13 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Tattoo   1/2/2019

Ben came home late that night. His wife Linda asked "where the hell have you been?". I got a tattoo he said proudly. A tattoo she said angrily, "What kind of tattoo?". I got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my dick. "Why would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick" she asked. "Well one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, sometimes I like to play with my ...


2 Comments, 403 Views, 21 Votes ,4.12 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
your wife mabe cheeting on you when   11/23/2018

Your wife maybe cheeting on you when <br> 1. You put on a pair of underware that doesnt fit you. <br> 2. you wife has a freshly fucked face and she clames she was masterbaiting and waiting for you. <br> 3 you call your house while you are at work and noone answers, she said she went to the store, but there are no shopping bags. <br> 4. there are socks ...


2 Comments, 472 Views, 36 Votes ,2.20 Score
smalldong27 40 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
she broke up with me bc my dick was too small   7/20/2008

Hey my last gf broke up with me bc I couldnt please her with my dick. I said I would use toys bot she didnt want too. What are the limits ladies when is a dick too small


2 Comments, 329 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
Lady_Gatta 58 F
55 Articles
Score 0.0
Chess and other Games   3/23/2005

Chess Game - Part One She had always enjoyed playing chess, probably from the very first time when she'd been five years old. She also always knew how amazing it was for others to see a small winning game after game in the resort, where she was even physically unable to remove the huge chess pieces and other were only happy to help her with that task. Then, when she became older, ...


2 Comments, 333 Views, 38 Votes ,2.91 Score
heavyballs4u 78 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
to the tune of Disco,... Makin' it and then bangin' it....   11/7/2021

<br> I <br> Oh, Who's that banging at your door? Just me, the Old Bastard looking at your ass somemore, Or, was it maybe in lingerie at the department store-- Who wants to hop in bed with U -- certainly not to snore, Oh, who's that bastard banging at your door? <br> II <br> Yes Sexy Lady, I'm disease free and plan on stayin' this way, Not tokin or ...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 10 Votes ,1.39 Score
heavyballs4u 78 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
da Mattress poem   11/21/2018

Oh, I luv dem Mattress ads on plasma TV He's a sleep-N-she dreams--she was free He wants an electric mattress wit'buttons-N-numbers She wants a trampoline, with him not a fumbler He snores to the roars of NASCARs everywhere She tosses her ass covered blanket up in the air When dey do bang anyway, he's not even there Her thoughts -R- with Bad-Boy of yesteryear She wants to be eaten ...


1 Comments, 68 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
NibblesNLix 47 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   11/21/2018

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


1 Comments, 87 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
NibblesNLix 47 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   11/4/2018

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


1 Comments, 106 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
IThinkmyway 63 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
DOM/DOM PLAY ???   10/10/2015

Is it possible for two 100% Dominants to play together? An interesting question and thought experiment devised for my amusement.

This is a paradox, as I will show that the answer is both "yes" and "no!!"

Just because something is a paradox, does not mean that it is impossible. There are paradoxes galore in both the natural and man-made world. Bearing that in mind, let's give ...


1 Comments, 77 Views, 31 Votes ,2.76 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
Old Harold   3/5/2013

There this guy Harold who's like 97 years old and lives in a nursing home. Anyway every evening after dinner Harold would go out to a secluded part of the garden and just sit on the glider thinking about all of his accomplishments and his long life. <br> One evening Ethel, an 87 year old, strolled by and saw Harold. She asked what he was doing and they started to talk. Well ...


1 Comments, 366 Views, 14 Votes ,3.14 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANTA;RETIREMENT a 'S VIEW:   11/12/2006

SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D bust, and carmel nipples, that matched her satiny skin, he had met her on one of those kinky B&B/S&M.com Websistes profiled as a submissive;introduced her to a closed sesssion of play scene fantasy B&B accompanied with his chief ...


1 Comments, 179 Views, 8 Votes
smalldong27 40 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
condom coming off inside GF   8/20/2006

well my dick is less than average size and condoms are sometimes a size or two too big. Once I was fucking my Old girlfriend and at the end noticed my condom was gone. I didnt say anything and went home the next day she called and asked if I had left something at her place I said what do you mean> And she had found it inside of her. From then on all her dorm friends made jokes by buying me ...


1 Comments, 482 Views, 12 Votes ,2.98 Score
Bump_in_da_nite 51 M
3 Articles
Score 0.0
stuff i thought was funny   7/11/2006

don't suffer from insanity; enjoy every minute of it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.


1 Comments, 163 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
bdsmnn 53 M
18 Articles
Score 0.0
my wife   3/29/2006

My Domme!


1 Comments, 496 Views, 18 Votes
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
Retribution-Like A...   12/1/2005

Justin struggled against the ropes. He strained his arm muscles trying to loosen the bonds. He tried to raise up on his knees. "You won't get away with this, " he threatened, "I'll go to the cops and they'll put you cunts away forever!" Four women laughing was the only reply to Justin's threat. Rita gave a gentle tug on Justin's short brown hair. "What are you gonna say?" Rita asked, ...


1 Comments, 248 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
The sweet smell of revenge!   11/28/2005

I was barely nineteen when this happened. If you're hoping to read some juicy sex tale, you might wish to read something else. This is a tale of revenge, off-color and possibly disgusting, and humiliation. I worked as a mail boy for a large company in San Diego. There were literally hundreds of workers, many of which were women. I developed a crush on a particular lady named Jill. ...


1 Comments, 326 Views, 12 Votes ,5.80 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
One word or two   7/14/2005

An elderly couple had been seeing each other for quite a while. So they figured marriage was the next logical step. <br> One evening they went out to dinner for a heart to heart talk. They discussed everything from finances, living arrangments to snoring. Finally the gentleman broached the subject of intamacy. <br> He askes how the lady felt about sex. She replied, "well ...


1 Comments, 391 Views, 20 Votes ,6.06 Score
   2005-01-20

'Peachy' had come to visit me in Portland, OR from the coastal town where she lived. When I first met her, her hubby had her sleeping "in the doghouse" in their living room! Sexually, she was insatiable with him. He'd go work, and she'd call me and I'd coach her on field expedient toys to use in our phone sex escapades. Once, while looking for something new to try, she opened and looked inside her hubby's tool box, where she found a large handled screwdriver for which, she soon developed a great fondness! From that point on, the Ole Craftsman screwdriver became 'de rigueur' in our Long Distance trysts. <br> <br> One that Saturday, when she and a friend of hers came to Portland for a concert. 'Peachy' was going to be dropped off at my place after the concert, while her friend had plans to attend an 'all-night' rave party. Now, I'd had some wine earlier, and dozed off when she didn't arrive on time. When she finally did arrive, I was sleeping deeply, as she woke my neighbors getting me to wake up. <br> <br> As soon as I greeted and let her in, I was immediately grateful that I'd drank the wine earlier, as I could hardly withstand her body odor emanating from her, due to all the drinking and sweating, from dancing during the entire length of the concert! Now, I had to help her into my bed with a modicum of grace and gratitude, and I said to her, 'I may have some toys similar to your favorite Craftsman tools, in my own toolbox!' She smiled then nodded, as I went to find them, and some lube. <br> <br> Back at 'Ground Zero' alongside 'Peachy, ' I generously applied the lube, threw in a little fondling, then efficiently and smoothly inserted the Standard 1/2" Craftsman screwdriver, handle end first, into the excretory opening of her alimentary canal. Then I lubed myself, and inserted the Phillips 1/2" Craftsman screwdriver handle into my own anus. We had both, somehow excited ourselves by now, and rather quickly, began fucking frenziedly with heedless abandon! <br> <br> Between the sensory stimulation of the actual Craftsman handles' penetration in our anuses, and the auditory stimulation of 'business' ends of the screwdrivers, sounding like one of the most famous sword duels in one of the greatest Swashbuckler movies of all time, "Captain Blood" circa 1935, with Basil Rathbone and Errol Flynn (who was an unknown Australian replacement actor until this film). On top of, just the plain edginess of these Ben Wa balls substitutions, caused us to quickly come wildly, and just as quick, fall into a tranquil slumber, both impaled, with the Craftsman 1/2" screwdriver handles, locked firmly in place! <br> <br> But there's a downside to this tale and it's that, to this day, keeping in mind, this happened about five years ago, I have not been able to remove the permeated, tainted, synesthetic redolence from the solid plastic handles of the two cutlasses we wielded onto battle that one night! SEAR's Craftsman Tools 100% Guaranteed Exchange Warranty notwithstanding!


Comments, Views, Votes
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANATA*^CRIMES*AGAINST*NATURE^*   2/2/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]*WEIRD*TRUE*TALES*: DURAHAM, NCn Dec.gang member RobertD.Jphnson, was sentenced to 15 years for shooting off the genitals of a fellow Blood(negroe) who was wws trying to leave the group. The jury rejected an even harsher penalty for "maliicious castration" settling.on"non-maliciouscastratioin because Johnson actually shot the man in the leg, but that the bullet ...


1 Comments, 167 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,WHAT.WILL.I.BE.WHEN.I'M.A SENIOR?" .   10/25/2020

SANTA[DEADLINE]WILM.N.C.BE.A.SENIOR: SECRETSANTA, Answers his GrandChilds Question "What will I be when I become a Senior Citizen? What will it be like SANTA?" "I'm the life of the party even if it lasts past 10pm, and I'm very good at opening Tyenol caps with a hammer, yes I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going, _n_I'm awake many hours ...


0 Comments, 101 Views, 4 Votes ,0.14 Score
baroness69 48 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Who pissed on my beer?   10/25/2020

My mom and her boyfriend went away for the weekend, several years ago. THey went to Lincoln City, on the Oregon Coast. He bought a case of beer to take with him. <br> He had so many drinks that night that he could barely stand. Mom said that around 3:30 that morning, he went to the bathroom in his birthday suit. She said he fell three times on his way to the bathroom that was only ...


0 Comments, 301 Views, 15 Votes ,4.20 Score
JohnnyLightning 65 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
A true black belt at cunilingus.   1/4/2017

My head is between your legs. I can taste your pussy juices; you are very wet now. I run my tongue around the edges of your pussy. I caress your tummy, ass, and your thighs with my hands. I find your g-spot and apply pressure. I open your legs and place my head between your thighs. I rub your tummy some more. I then remove your panties to reveal a very wet pussy. I slowly start licking you around ...


0 Comments, 289 Views, 59 Votes ,3.45 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Why Man Got His First Blow Job   3/2/2013

"Don't eat that Eve!" Adam hollered as he saw his mate plucking the ripe fruit from the branch. <br> "Why not?" <br> "Cause God said we couldn't." <br> "So? Look how much fruit it bears. It would be a stupid waste not to eat it. Besides, none of the other trees have fruit that is so fat and plentiful and I don't really feel like walking to the next nearest tree. ...


0 Comments, 388 Views, 19 Votes ,1.81 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
You just don't understand.   2/15/2009

This is a little story from my youth. It might have been a very short relationship, but I think you'll see the humor. I was 18 and stationed at Clark Air Base in the Philippines. On my second night in country, a guy, who had been there for a year, decided to take me out to see the town. We went out the Clarkview gate and started hitting the bars. This was during the rainy season, so ...


0 Comments, 250 Views, 29 Votes ,5.65 Score
Lady_Gatta 58 F
55 Articles
Score 0.0
How My Siggy *marked* one of My slaves   2/14/2007

One of My slaves was visiting from another country, and My was all over him( lol, no, no, not at all what Y/you might think!- My cute white bulldog Siggy just loves new people!). So one day after having his things done outside, My comes back in and sits down on My slave's bare foot. Unfortunately for My slave, My dog's ass was not as clean as O/ne would like! After sitting and being ...


0 Comments, 463 Views, 18 Votes ,4.35 Score
dynamitesneonaty 41 M
11 Articles
Score 0.0
dumb older joke   10/8/2006

A man tells his wife that he lost his job, and she'd need to get one. After some discussion, the only thing she's capable of doing is ! He decides to help her, and after getting ready, they head out on the town. The wife spots a good mark and gets out of the car while the husband drives into a closeby alley. "100 dollars a fuck big boy, " the wife states. "I've only got thirty bucks ...


0 Comments, 373 Views, 23 Votes ,5.70 Score
Ms.FaerieWings 61 F
3 Articles
Score 0.0
Once Upon a Time-a D/s faerie tale   1/22/2005

Once upon a time, there was a slave who lives happily with her Master, being diliegnt of His care and service always wanting to please Him to the best of her abilities. One day while T/they chatted online with F/friends, T/they were told to be a *real slave* she would have to be naked an chained 24/7, hearing this, she looked up at her Master, eyes filling with tears, feeling sad that ...


0 Comments, 152 Views, 188 Votes ,7.62 Score
MasterSeverin 74 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
EVENTIDE - A Poem Of Love   1/22/2005

EVENTIDE..... <br> Twilight reached down, outstretched fingers scratching the back of the day now slowly descending. <br> She caressed with lips of darkest night, gentle kiss of sleep, fragrant touch of evening, as the sun passes downward, beneath ragged coverlets of cloud. <br> Twilight grew older, dimmed then darkened, as ...


0 Comments, 118 Views, 59 Votes ,4.78 Score
JoePerf 51 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
S&M   1/16/2005

Probably the oldest one in the book <br> The Masochist says to the Sadist: "Please hurt me!" <br> The Sadist smile and says: "No!"


0 Comments, 372 Views, 19 Votes ,3.26 Score