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Makes sense to me. 9/23/2005
When the good looking male gynecologist requested his
new patient to undress, the gorgeous young woman began
to blush. "Haven't you ever been examined before?"
Asked the Doctor.
"Oh yes, lots of times, " she replied in a whisper,
"but never by a doctor."
0 Comments,
141 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Ego problems? 9/23/2005
According to Judy, she was the most popular girl on the face
of the earth. "You know what, " Judy said, with
her usual lack of modesty, "a whole lot of men are going
to be miserable when I marry."
"Really, " replied her date, holding back
a yawn, "Just how many are you going to marry?"
0 Comments,
149 Views,
6 Votes
,5.93 Score
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He should've seen that coming. 9/23/2005
One morning, after receiving a phone call from his wife,
the full of crap office manager strutted into the break
room, his chest puffed out like a rooster, and loudly announced,
"My wife is pregnant!"
After a brief silence, a meek voice from the back of the room
asked "and who do you suspect?"
0 Comments,
129 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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My work or yours? 9/23/2005
The Physician and his wife were out strolling when a gorgeous
woman in a tight fitting top and mini-skirt smiled and nodded
hello from a nearby doorway.
"Who is that?" inquired the wife.
"That is a young woman I know professionally, "
replied the Doc, his face turning red.
""I see, " said the wife, "your
profession or hers?"
0 Comments,
129 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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I believe it's probably true! 9/23/2005
I have a friend who works in a mental hospital. He told me
the resident psychiatrist gave his mental blocks for
his birthday!
0 Comments,
90 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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She did ask. 9/23/2005
A woman discovered her husband had a mistress, so she demanded
"Does this mean you have had enough of me?"
"Not at all darling, " the husband replied
coldly, "It means I haven't had enough of you!"
0 Comments,
139 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Okay Doc. 9/23/2005
"I'm sorry, but I just can't find the cause
of your ailment, " the Physician said, "But,
I think it's probably due to drinking."
"If that's the case, " the patient replied,
"I'll come back when your sober."
0 Comments,
92 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Ask a silly question... 9/23/2005
"How come you come home half loaded?" Inquired
the sleepy wife of her semi-drunken husband.
He replied, logically, "I ran out of money!"
0 Comments,
103 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Well, she asked. 9/23/2005
"Sweetheart, " the beautiful young thing
whispered, "will you still love me after we're
married?"
"The man pondered the question for a minute and then
answered, "I believe so. I've always had a thing
for married women."
0 Comments,
93 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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A twist on a traditional disagreement. 9/23/2005
Two small boys were having the ususal arguement small boys
everywhere always have:
"My father is better than your father!"
"No he isn't."
"My brother is better than your brother!"
"No he isn't."
"My mother is better than your mother!"
There was a long pause.
"I guess you got me there. My father says the same thing."
0 Comments,
112 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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This joke will bug you. 9/22/2005
"NO!" screamed the lady millipede, crossing
her legs as the amorous male millipede made sexual advances,
"a thousand times no!"
1 Comments,
107 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Oh yeah... 9/22/2005
"We just got married and we would like a suite."
said the newly wed man to the hotel clerk.
"Bridal?" asked the clerk.
"Oh no, " interjected the bride, "I'll
just hang on to his ears until I get used to it."
0 Comments,
186 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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I got to know. 9/22/2005
"I have to know one thing, " the groom said to
his beautiful bride as she lay beside him in the bed of their
honeymoon suite, "Am I the first man to sleep with
you?"
"You will be, darling, " replied the bride,
"once you doze off."
0 Comments,
127 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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That's a problem? 9/22/2005
"You know, the problem with Freddy, " Jayne
commented to her roomy, "is once he starts kissing
you he doesn't know where to stop."
"That's really odd, " replied the room
mate, "on my last date with him he found a great place
to stop."
0 Comments,
131 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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To each his own. 9/22/2005
Two rodents were hiding under a dressing table in the chorus
girls dressing room in one of the larger hotel night clubs
in Las Vegas.
"Golly gee, " proclaimed the first mouse,
"have you ever seen so many round asses and beautiful
legs in your life?"
"Sorry, they don't do a thing for me, "
answered the second, "I'm a titmouse."
0 Comments,
101 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Should've asked if anything was stolen. 9/22/2005
A husband returned from a trip and was told by his wife that
a thief had entered their home while the husband was away.
"Did he get anything, " the husband asked anxiously.
"Well, yeah, " answered the woman, "it
was dark and I thought it was you."
1 Comments,
138 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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A little Johnny Joke 9/22/2005
"Why won't you smile Johnny?" The teacher
asked the youngster.
"I didn't get any breakfast." Replied
little Johnny.
"Oh you poor, poor , " said the sympathetic
teacher. "But, let's return to our Geography
lesson. Can you tell me where the Canadian border is Johnny?"
"In bed with my Mom-that's why I didn't get
any breakfast!"
0 Comments,
109 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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A clergyman with a dirty mind 9/21/2005
"I'm writing to my folks, " explained
the soldier to the chaplain, " and I don't know
if hard on is hyphenated or not."
", " choked the chaplain, "what on
earth are you telling your parents?"
"Just this, sir, " replied the G.I., "I'm
telling mom and dad we can finally attend services in the
field chapel-the one we all worked so hard on."
0 Comments,
99 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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He got what he wished for! 9/21/2005
A man found a strange bottle in a store. He purchased it and
took it home. He began to clean the bottle when, in a puff
of smoke, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three
wishes." The genie said, gigling out loud. This genie
had a sense of humor. "I want a billion dollars in gold."
Demanded the man. The genie pointed to the ocean and said
"your wish is granted, it's at the bottom ...
0 Comments,
99 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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You get what you wish for. 9/21/2005
A man walked into a bar. He sat at the counter and raised his
right hand. Suddenly all the beautiful women in the place
came to his side. He then reached into his pocket, produced
a handful of money and ordered the bartender to give drinks
to everyone. As the man got his drink, a foot tall creature
appeared from his jacket, jumped on the bar and began to
kick all the drinks over. When ...
0 Comments,
87 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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GFY 9/20/2005
One day, a little boy goes over to his grandparents house
and is sitting out on the poarch with his grandfather. Grandpa
is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a
sip.
<br>
"can your dick touch your asshole?" replies
the grandpa. He says no, so the grandpa says "well,
then you arent old enough yet to drink beer".
<br>
The little boy goes back to his ...
0 Comments,
123 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Mistaken Identity! 9/20/2005
A man is at the supermarket when he notices that a rather
attractive blonde behind him has just raised her hand and
smiled hello to him.
<br>
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving
to him and although familiar, he can't place where
he might
<br>
know her from, so he says, "Sorry, do I know you?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I think you
...
0 Comments,
139 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Always ask a professional man... 9/19/2005
"Doctor, " said the pretty young brunette,
"I have this overpowering compulsion to have sex
with every man I meet. Is there a name for whatever it is I've
got?"
"Yes, Miss Smith, there is, " answered the
Doctor as he lifted her up and carried her to the couch, "it's
called good news!"
0 Comments,
96 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Oh those funny country folk...again 9/19/2005
A young sociologist was doing a in-depth study of conditions
and attitudes in Appalachia. He asked a local, "Sir,
what are your professional views on the increasing employment
of aphrodisiacs?"
"Wa-a-al, I'll tell yah, " ruminated
the man being questioned, " as long as they does their
job, I don't think it makes no never mind how they wears
their hair."
0 Comments,
125 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Hmmmmmm 9/19/2005
"Oww...My blind date last night turned out to be your
former boyfriend, " groaned the young woman to her
room mate, " and I now understand why you called him
the wild texas longhorn!"
0 Comments,
66 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Why 9/19/2005
Why did god give women a couple more brain cells than a Cow?
<br>
So they don't shit all over ya when ya rub thier tits
0 Comments,
363 Views,
3 Votes
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Oh yeah... 9/18/2005
A shapely teenage blond walked into a local card shop. "Do
you have, like, any really special valentines?"
She asked the store keeper.
"We have a private line...here, " smiled the
salesman as he slipped it out from under the counter. "It
says, 'To the boy who got my cherry!'"
"WOW!" exclaimed the girl, "I'll
take a whole box."
0 Comments,
121 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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A true football coach! 9/18/2005
The meticulous football coach met a girl, fell in love and
got married right in the middle of the season. "Hey
coach, " inquired one of the players, "how
was the honeymoon."
"I don't know yet, " replied the coach,
"I haven't seen the films."
0 Comments,
79 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door 9/18/2005
An old man passed away and was sent to purgatory. Once there,
he ran into a friend his age who was accompanied by a lucious
red head. "I'm happy for you Bob, " said
the new arrival, "at least your getting a partial
reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward, " sighed Bob, "I'm
her punishment!"
0 Comments,
79 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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That's not what I call them! 9/17/2005
A friend of mine said that television censors are called
bleeping toms!
0 Comments,
71 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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