|
499 views
|
Pandemic joke
A little humor for this bad period
At a big national chain store that sold groceries, auto parts and tires and was like a clothing department store, there was a line of senior citizens waiting at the front doors for the store to open.
What created the line was the special hours for senior citizens and they opened 2 hours earlier just for them.
Close to opening time a younger man walks to the front of the line and steps in front of an elderly lady who quickly beats him back with her large heavy purse. The woman yelled at the man, "The end of the line is back there!" as she pointed the back of the line.
The younger man backed up trying recover from the beating he just took and once again went to the front of the line but this time was blocked by 2 elderly men that rained punches on him, forced him to the ground and each of the elderly men grabbed an ankle and dragged him toward the end of the line and left him there. The young man was loudly booed and jeered. The seniors were getting impatient as opening time came and passed and the store still did not open.
The younger man was persistent and once again tried to get to the front of the line and this time was met by a whole group of people that beat him to the ground ripping off his tie and tearing his clothing and messing up his hair. Meanwhile it was well after opening time for the store and the line of people were bitching.
The younger man finally stood up off to the side of the line and through a bloodied bottom lip loudly said, "If you damn people will quit beating me up, I can get up there and unlock the damn door so we can open the damn store." as he held up a hand with keys on a ring and said, "I am the store manager!" |
||
|
Yeah its a good joke because I am reading it and at first I'm like what is going on. Then about half-way through I think I have got it figured out but I am not totally sure. In the end, yeah I expected that and it is funny! | ||
|
Was Kate one of the senior citizens involved? | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: Was Kate one of the senior citizens involved? Probably the one with the oversize heavy purse! | ||
|
Glad you liked it!TY | ||
|
Yep... mob rule! | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Probably the one with the oversize heavy purse! I vote for Kate being a senior citizen with a big heavy purse. | ||
|
Do you think that Corona beer sales have fallen due to the coronavirus? | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: Do you think that Corona beer sales have fallen due to the coronavirus? Yes they have. I spent my life in hospitality and food and beverage and I still know people still working in the industry and in all the levels from package stores to dinning room sales and what I am hearing is Corona beer sales have taken a dip.There are some people that just cannot tell the difference between the two. | ||
|
Glad you enjoyed it. It seems Kate is getting the popular vote of being the old bat with the heavy purse. | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Yes they have. I spent my life in hospitality and food and beverage and I still know people still working in the industry and in all the levels from package stores to dinning room sales and what I am hearing is Corona beer sales have taken a dip.There are some people that just cannot tell the difference between the two. The joke you telling about the guy trying to get in the store being the manager happened in real life quite a few times in different situations the one I know about is when ticket went on sale for a concert at all the ticket locations the manager and 2 employees were pushed away from the front door by the crowd waiting it took police officers to get them in by the time they open their windows they put up a sign tickets sold out the people that were pushing fighting were blaming the manager and workers because they didn't open on time | ||
|
quote wimantouse: The joke you telling about the guy trying to get in the store being the manager happened in real life quite a few times in different situations the one I know about is when ticket went on sale for a concert at all the ticket locations the manager and 2 employees were pushed away from the front door by the crowd waiting it took police officers to get them in by the time they open their windows they put up a sign tickets sold out the people that were pushing fighting were blaming the manager and workers because they didn't open on time I can see that happening in real time. TY for reading | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Yes they have. I spent my life in hospitality and food and beverage and I still know people still working in the industry and in all the levels from package stores to dinning room sales and what I am hearing is Corona beer sales have taken a dip.There are some people that just cannot tell the difference between the two. I totally believe that there are people who cannot tell the difference between Corona beer and the coronavirus. Can't fix stupid. | ||
|
A sad joke is that it took the governor of Texas over three months to figure out that wearing masks during a pandemic is a smart idea. Our governor is about as sharp as a butter knife. | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: A sad joke is that it took the governor of Texas over three months to figure out that wearing masks during a pandemic is a smart idea. Our governor is about as sharp as a butter knife. The worst one in your Texas government is your Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick. He was on TV a couple of days ago ranting and raving that Dr. Fauci lied about the virus.
No Dr. Fauci did not lie, what he said that could happen if America opened up to quickly could rekindle the virus, and it did. Dan Patrick lied! Another trump stooge! | ||
|
I agree that LG Dan Patrick is the worst. Dr. Fauci knows exactly what he is talking about. Patrick is so far off base that he is worse than clueless. | ||
|
Yes, and Florida's governor might be even worse. | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: A sad joke is that it took the governor of Texas over three months to figure out that wearing masks during a pandemic is a smart idea. Our governor is about as sharp as a butter knife. Ya know I have to go out almost everyday and I wear a mask. I do not enjoy wearing a mask cuz I spend lots of time doing my makeup every morning and I am proud of my abilities of putting on my makeup. I live as a woman and do my best to look like an attractive woman.
Wearing a mask hides a great portion of my makeup job on my face but wearing a mask right now is what is required and that is what is important. So I will keep wearing masks as long as necessary. | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Glad you enjoyed it. It seems Kate is getting the popular vote of being the old bat with the heavy purse. Do you think perhaps that our friendly banter drove the "old bat" away? Or did the old bat find a nice attic to hang upside-down in while she savors the pungent aroma of mothballs? | ||
|
A Rabbi, a Minister, and a Priest walk into a bar... Oh, wait a minute, no they don't. - The bars are all closed. | ||
|
quote looking4fat: A Rabbi, a Minister, and a Priest walk into a bar... Oh, wait a minute, no they don't. - The bars are all closed. :( Are your bars closed in New York? They had to close them back down again in Nevada | ||
|
I think that he is a bit smarter than trump, at least he did admit that he might have made a mistake by trying to reopen to soon | ||
|
I think a lot of people making these decisions are idiots and some of their ideas are completely stupid in Milwaukee Wisconsin stores were allowed to be open from 8 o'clock to 8 o'clock instead of their regular hours some were open 24 hours somewhere open to 10 o'clock there finally now reopening their regular times I can now go to the store and there is not a big massive crowd I have no idea what the reason was for restricting hours causing back ups and crowd stores and they were stocking and cleaning at the same time the sensible thing to do was lead to stores open the regular times have been close for a few hours late night for stocking and cleaning customers would not be tripping over the people and end up face-to-face and many more restrictions that did not make sense and just cause more crowded areas | ||
|
Another pandemic joke... | ||
|
I am not an expert on COVID-19 . but this is The Cure. | ||
|
quote wimantouse: I think a lot of people making these decisions are idiots and some of their ideas are completely stupid in Milwaukee Wisconsin stores were allowed to be open from 8 o'clock to 8 o'clock instead of their regular hours some were open 24 hours somewhere open to 10 o'clock there finally now reopening their regular times I can now go to the store and there is not a big massive crowd I have no idea what the reason was for restricting hours causing back ups and crowd stores and they were stocking and cleaning at the same time the sensible thing to do was lead to stores open the regular times have been close for a few hours late night for stocking and cleaning customers would not be tripping over the people and end up face-to-face and many more restrictions that did not make sense and just cause more crowded areas Ya know I agree with you. | ||
|
No one seems to appreciate the joke about "The Cure". Why is this? | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: No one seems to appreciate the joke about "The Cure". Why is this? Appreciating the joke here. | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: No one seems to appreciate the joke about "The Cure". Why is this? I thought it was good. I have not had a chance to respond cuz my boyfriend has been around and he always wants some pussy (ass). | ||
|
Apparently your boyfriend does not listen to The Cure (neither do I, so that's fine). | ||
|
quote RedSoxWin: Appreciating the joke here. Thanks, I knew I could count on you RedSox. | ||
|
The pandemic is no joke. | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Are your bars closed in New York? They had to close them back down again in Nevada Some are open, but many have elected to remain closed because King Andrew, the Corrupt's rules are SO stringent that they would loose more money open than closed. Business owners can now be fined up to $2000 for allowing a non-masked individual to enter their establishment - plus they can loose their licence or business certificate. (There is no penalty for the a-hole who walks in sans mask.) And it is even worse for Bars and Wineries. Now, no business is allowed to serve alcohol (including Wine Tastings) for consumption "on premises" unless it is part of a Food Order. It has been a tough year for small business in New York State. King Andrew, the corrupt, paints the whole state with the same brush. We "country folk" (who admittedly never vote for him so why should he care about us) are treated the same as the residents of the rat warren cities. --- Sigh! | ||
|
Why do so many people not know the difference between "lose" and "loose"? | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: Why do so many people not know the difference between "lose" and "loose"? Your wright! --- The same reason they don't know the difference between your and you're. Because their in too much of a hurry and don't proof read there own posts. And spell check is worthless for many words. | ||
|
Another coronavirus joke... | ||
|
quote Dynosaur: The pandemic is no joke. Other than the president who said it was a joke? | ||
|
quote looking4fat: Some are open, but many have elected to remain closed because King Andrew, the Corrupt's rules are SO stringent that they would loose more money open than closed. Business owners can now be fined up to $2000 for allowing a non-masked individual to enter their establishment - plus they can loose their licence or business certificate. (There is no penalty for the a-hole who walks in sans mask.) And it is even worse for Bars and Wineries. Now, no business is allowed to serve alcohol (including Wine Tastings) for consumption "on premises" unless it is part of a Food Order. It has been a tough year for small business in New York State. King Andrew, the corrupt, paints the whole state with the same brush. We "country folk" (who admittedly never vote for him so why should he care about us) are treated the same as the residents of the rat warren cities. --- Sigh! It is kinda the same as here in Nevada and from what I hear also in California. Our governor is doing as good as he can but gets a lot of push back from dumb ass citizens concerned about their personal freedom and do not give a damn who they infect. The bars were allowed open but with some restrictions and those restrictions were violated by bar owners so now the gov closed them up again. People in restaurants can be served alcohol if seated and eating at a table.
Now we have 2 ministers trying to sue the gov and the state cuz of allowed limited number of people attending church during one service. Why don't these 2 god fearing, non tax paying parasites offer more services instead of trying to pack their church in one service. These guys do nothing else during the week so if they are that concerned about how much they are getting in their collection basket let them do their part for the pandemic also and have more services. | ||
|
I wonder if a mask would cover a person's "privates"? | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: I wonder if a mask would cover a person's "privates"? Someone would need 2 masks to do that! With me I keep myself tucked over 95% of the time to make it look like I have a cunt down there. I do keep pubic hair so it looks like a cunt. | ||
|
HUNG LIKE A HORSE??? As I look around ... WHERE, WHERE, WHERE? | ||
|
Darth Vader has been into social distancing for a long, long time. | ||
|
i keep thinking of getting one of these to wear.... | ||
|
How does the pandemic affect the rental car industry? . It Hertz | ||
|
quote looking4fat: i keep thinking of getting one of these to wear.... Come on Kate! We are not that damn old yet! | ||
|
TY I would appreciate that | ||
|
What if he sees a horse hung like a guy? | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Come on Kate! We are not that damn old yet! :)) Not sure what age has to do with it. i was thinking of Guy Fawkes and "V for Vendetta." Our British cousins will know all about it.
"Remember, remember! | ||
|
Did you mean that would be a Horse of a Different Color? | ||
|
quote looking4fat: Not sure what age has to do with it. i was thinking of Guy Fawkes and "V for Vendetta." Our British cousins will know all about it. ^:-J "Remember, remember! The fifth of November, The Gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot!" Well I will admit that we are both becoming 'old babes' | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Well I will admit that we are both becoming 'old babes' There are fossils that are younger than Kate. | ||
|
quote blondebimbobitch: There are fossils that are younger than Kate. Indeed. - i have heard it said that one is only as old as one feels. Lately, i have felt antediluvian. Now, if you will excuse me, i am going to take a nap. | ||
|
I just luv you! | ||
|
quote looking4fat: Indeed. - i have heard it said that one is only as old as one feels. Lately, i have felt antediluvian. :( Now, if you will excuse me, i am going to take a nap. I) Kate come on over tonight. We can have a couple of straight shots of Geritol with a prune juice chaser. I have a couple of fresh bottles of each and we can sing 'When I Was Young'. | ||
|
quote joyceMtoF: Kate come on over tonight. We can have a couple of straight shots of Geritol with a prune juice chaser. I have a couple of fresh bottles of each and we can sing 'When I Was Young'. HA! --- i take a generic Centrum Silver each morning, but i don't need Prune Juice... i am a "Regular Gurl." Like clockwork (not Orange) 1 hour after my morning coffee. | ||
|
quote looking4fat: HA! --- i take a generic Centrum Silver each morning, but i don't need Prune Juice... i am a "Regular Gurl." Like clockwork (not Orange) 1 hour after my morning coffee. :)) I douche like every other day and keep myself cleaned out. So I do not know if I am regular or not. |
|