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Freudian Slip... 10/21/2005 A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” <br> But instead I said: 0 Comments, 151 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Alsatian and a post office... 10/21/2005 An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” <br> The clerk examined the paper and politely told the 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Doctor, Doctor ... prt 2 10/21/2005 A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'. <br> 'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient. <br> The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'. & 0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The time will come... 10/21/2005 I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. <br> Not screaming in terror like his passengers. 0 Comments, 156 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Dangerous City... 10/21/2005 A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. <br> A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. 0 Comments, 109 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Doctor, Doctor... 10/21/2005 This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. <br> She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in t 0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes | |
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all aboard the 171 to Bermondsey... 10/21/2005 A woman gets on a bus with her baby. <br> The bus driver says: “wow, that's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.” <br> The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, 0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Going a huntin' 10/21/2005 A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. <br> He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. <br> The o 0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Another economist joke... 10/21/2005 Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Go figure.... 10/21/2005 Economists do it with models... 0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes | |
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F U C K - a definition of a glorious word! 10/21/2005 Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". <br> It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, plea 0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Don't metion the war.... 10/21/2005 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her 0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes | |
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a Chav at theJobcentre 10/21/2005 A chav goes into the jobcentre and says to the guy at the desk "Aigh' mate, I wanna get a job coz me sick of dottin' on innit? Wha' ya got"? <br> "Well" replies the man "It's your lucky d 0 Comments, 124 Views, 0 Votes | |
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More footie jokes 10/21/2005 Q) What is the difference between a hedgehog and Old Trafford........ A) On a hedgehog all the pricks are on the outside !! <br> Q) What is the difference between David Beckham and God? A) 0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes | |
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virus alert 10/21/2005 The David Beckham virus - This affects newer computers mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on but nothing works. <br> The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows. 0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hammers... 10/21/2005 A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. <br> The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. 0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes | |
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scouse terror cell 10/21/2005 Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. <br> Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Re 0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Olympics 2012 - Liverpool's Bid 10/21/2005 Liverpool's Olympic Bid <br> Did you know that Liverpool had put a bid in for the Olympics? Here is a section of their bid that was leaked from the IOC... <br> OPENING CEREMONY T 0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Lets sing a song!... 10/21/2005 Sung to the tune of "You are my sunshine" <br> You are a scouser, An ugly scouser, You're only happy, on giro day, your mum's out thieving, your dad's drug-dealing, so please 0 Comments, 74 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Scouser walking down the street... 10/21/2005 A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. <br> He immediately ran over to the and started to struggle in which he sustained ma 0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Football joke... 10/21/2005 Q/ Why did Gerard Houllier go to Argos? <br> <br> A/ It's the only place he could pick up Premier Points. <br> <br> <br> Oooh, harsh, eh? 0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Bob Hope fan club 10/21/2005 Bob Hope was on 'Surprise Surprise', and bragged that despite his 97 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. After the show, Cilla said, "Bob, if I'm not being too forward, I'd l 0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Tickets please... 10/21/2005 Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people goi 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Liverpooool 10/21/2005 Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. <br> The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers 0 Comments, 67 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I'm Chavin' It - Part Deux... 10/21/2005 Q/ What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit? <br> A/ The Bride <br> ---------------------------- Q/ What do chavs use as protection during sex? <br> 0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Fancy a.... 10/21/2005 At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. <br> He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. 0 Comments, 108 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I'm Chavin' It 10/21/2005 Q/ What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? <br> <br> A/ Sorted <br> -------------------------- <br> Q/ What do you call a chav in a box, with 0 Comments, 85 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Chav's 10/21/2005 Q/Why are Chavs either round their mates or down the DSS? <br> A/ Becuase no Chav is Anti-social!! 0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Rotund Goth 10/21/2005 Q/ What do you call a fat goth? <br> A/ Vampire the Buffet Slayer 0 Comments, 43 Views, 0 Votes | |
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G O T H 10/21/2005 Q/ How do you get a goth out of a tree? <br> A/ Cut the rope!... <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> An oldie, but a goodie!! lol 0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes |
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