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Things aren't always what they appear to be. 6/16/2008 I struck lucky one night. I was in a bar and after a good few drinks I copped off with this woman and we went back to her place to spend the night together. The next morning as we we 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Here's one for the ladies 5/24/2008 What's that useless bit of skin at the end of a penis called? 0 Comments, 77 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Here's one for the ladies 5/23/2008 What's that useless bit of skin at the end of a penis called? A man! 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Cheese 5/22/2008 A bloke walks into the corner shop to buy a pound of cheese. However he was troubled with a particularly bad stammer and by the time he'd finished asking for the cheese the shop was full of c 0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Brits only please! 5/19/2008 The NHS has announced that all the sperm banks in London and Manchester will not be able to get any sperm donations for the next seven days. All the wankers will be in Moscow! 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Rollerblading 5/19/2008 Q. What's the hardest thing about rollerblading? A. Telling your parents that you're gay! 0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Body World 5/16/2008 I've decided to donate my body, obviously after I've died, to that Dr Gunther von Haagen. You know the fellow? He's the one who skins and then plasticises corpses and puts on exhibit 0 Comments, 41 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Warning! 5/13/2008 There's a group of religious crackpots going around knocking on doors spreading their message. They're telling everyone that brown bread is better than white bread. Apparantly, they' 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Three Degrees 5/9/2008 What do you call The Three Degrees when they're feeling sexy? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 0 Comments, 67 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Sex in the lounge. 5/4/2008 Wifey came out of the kitchen and into the living room and said to her husband, "Come on, let's make love." So they got down to it and after the critical moment had passed, the wife went back 0 Comments, 112 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hide and Seek 5/4/2008 What do men have in common with Hide and Seek and love making? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Afghanistan 5/3/2008 A journalist who had been covering the situation in Afghanistan under the Taliban had learned that among other things, the Afghan woman particularly hated having to wear the Burkka, and they also hate 0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Only a Brit will get this one!!!! 5/3/2008 An Austrian journalist was asking a neighbour of the Fritzl's about Fritzl's Alice. The neighbour replied, "Alice? Alice? Who the fuck is Alice? For twenty four years I've been living next door to Al 0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Bank Robber 5/2/2008 A gunman robbed a bank, and after he got the money he went up to a woman in the bank and said, "Did you see who robbed this bank?" The woman said, "Yes." So the robber shot her dead. The robber then w 0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Psychologist 4/26/2008 A couple were holding a dinner party for several guests, but annoyingly their just wouldn't stay upstairs in their rooms. After several attempts by the parents to take the back upstairs, they simply 0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Penis 4/22/2008 What's the first thing that comes out of a penis when a man has sex? > > > > The wrinkles! 0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Scousers 4/20/2008 Why are the Scousers always depressed? > > > > > > > > >: > > > > The light at the end of the tunnel is Birkenhead! 0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Albert & Anes 3/23/2008 Albert & Agnes were an "item" at the old folks where they lived. Every morning Agnes would go into Albert's room where Albert would be lying on top of his bed waiting her arrival. She would s 0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes | |
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6 months left to live. 3/23/2008 A couple were at the doctors. The husband had been undergoing a series of tests and it was now the time for the Doctor to give the results. The Doctor says, "I'm sorry to inform you 0 Comments, 136 Views, 0 Votes | |
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It's Easter Again 3/17/2008 It was the Last Supper and Jesus said to Mathew, "Mathew, was it you that betrayed me?" And Mathew sayeth, "No Lord and Master, it was not me who betrayed you." Jesus said, "Mathew, thou art verily a 0 Comments, 44 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Easter 3/16/2008 Why did Jesus die on the cross? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He forgot his safe word! 0 Comments, 108 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Bad Luck 2/27/2008 Talk about bad luck, I went to a funeral the other day and I caught the bouquet! 0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Last Hours 2/25/2008 An old boy was lying on his deathbed nearing his end. His time was measured in hours not days. As he lay, the smell of fresh baked cookies that his wife was making wafted upstairs. He so desparately w 0 Comments, 96 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A very vain man 1/27/2008 A very vain man died and his widow was making the funeral arrangements. She was concerned that his toupe might become dislodge during the viewing at the chapel of rest before the funeral, and expresse 0 Comments, 100 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A load of Arse 10/4/2007 (_!_) Regular Arse (__!__) Fat Arse (!) Tight Arse (_&_) Sore Arse (_0_) Well Used Arse (_e=mc2_) Smart Arse < 0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Google 9/2/2007 A man and woman were having an argument about which gender was better. They decided that whoever had more inventions to their gender's name would take the crown. The female, being the smarter 0 Comments, 128 Views, 0 Votes | |
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QANTAS 8/28/2007 Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every fligh 0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Dubya 8/20/2007 I've posted this one before, but it's still funny. Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing on the Iraq war. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, three Bra 0 Comments, 116 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I pinched this one from AdultFriendFinder 8/13/2007 A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time, " he thinks, and rolls ov 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity 8/7/2007 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.... 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes 0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes |
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