I made the mistake of trusting people and believing there was good and acceptance in others, this was meant to be a new beginning for me and my acceptance and understanding of others and they of me
WELL I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED
i opened up a very hurtful and private part of me and about my past to 3 people on here.
something i had kept within my soul and being for nearly 30 years.
i was persuaded to open myself and embrace my true self.
besides these 3 only 1 other person knows of this past in the whole world.
i made a step to correct past sins and make amends.
i thought these people were going to help me ease into a normalcy
WELL I WAS SO WRONG
within 4 months;
One person has disappeared from here altogether, this one was the only one i actually had any hope of meeting someday as in same country and state
one other has turned their back on me and ABANDONED me
The third wishes i had never been born and graced this mortal coil
this brings me back to worse than before.
i SEE there is no light just a consuming darkness
wonders if there is ever a place for one as me
RUN< FLEE , scream in fear.
THE BEAST HAS REAWAKENED
I am as old as time itself it seems
I was lost and mind and soul disorganised.
I have now found a new centre and a new peace and start anew
Im am well known around these halls but with somewhat of a hot head reputation.
I have hurt many and needed to find my true inner self.
a wonderful person has helped me find my true way and though not asked I felt a new beginning required a new profile.
I am not trying to deciev anone or to hide my past.
I will answer to all the names people call me , I have not forgotten my past
But like the coming dawn im embracing anew beginning.
I have found and am embracing anew path but still as spiritually and lore based as my past self.
I have just journeyed in another direction
I hope people when they think of me in years to come, will think more kindly of me than I deserve.
I have hurt some who have only wanted to help and be there and can never be forgiven for that.
I do not seek forgiveness , hopefully just acceptance.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
this used to be hard for me this section, got so bad i ended up telling everyone what they could do and where to do it as i no longer gave a damn.
I now do RETURN TO NOT giving a damn.
My ideal person would be someone who understands im kind of unique and does not fit quiet into any category. I would love someone or someones who seek to understand me and to help me develop and grow even at this late stage in life,
In this i already have had the most wonderful person here and i tore her and our friendship apart..
Now i hope to find someone or someones who can accept my past ways and help me becom e what everyone ive truly met wishes of me.
I still only seek a female and a dominant at that,
But that is no longer only what i seek. they i seek in life, others that mean so much to me i seek in eternal friendship... or at least mexican standoff or korean peninsular where we eye each other off but do not do a thing.
|